Thirty One Things I Never Told You

the first thing i never said.

maya.

lucas i really do like you. but you just- you cold never know that. your eyes, those beautiful green eyes that shimmer and make m heart sing. and your smile, was just as infatuating as your eyes. if only i had told you.

♡

lucas and i walk to though our college campus together, side by side, laughing and joking but we weren't together.

no, he was in love with somebody else. he was in love... with riley.

don't get me wrong i was happy for both of them, they were both amazing people. she loved him and he loved her and they deserved each other. they were perfect. and lucas just couldn't shut up about proposing to her once we were all out of college.

"seriously, sundance, if you don't stop talking about your relationship i will shave your head in your sleep," i roll my eyes, elbowing him in his bicep.

"really maya? i thought we were going to retire those nicknames when we graduated l2eewhighschool," he complains as we continue our stroll.

"for a homer roll student, your pretty slow. just because we're in college now doesn't change anything." i say smiling to myself.

"but things did change, you used to hateiend me and now we're practically best friends," he says and i feel a small pang of hurt. i didn't expect to be anything more. but it still hurt whenever i got a verbal confirmation that we were- in fact- nothing but best friends.

soon he would be married and i would be either stuck here in new york, or living my unrealistic dream o moving to california.

"maya? earth to maya..?" lucas calls, waving a hand in front of my face. i snap back into reality to see his concerned face and i just hum in response to him.

"you okay? i lost you there for a moment." he says with a frown and i smile up at him, i love how he's able to read me like that. but i don't tell him anything anyways.

"yeah, i'm alright." i say with a smile plastered on my face.

"don't lie, i know you're not." he says with that frown still prominent on his face.

"you can tell me maya, i've got you." he says, he stops walking all together and turns to me with concern etched into his features.

should i tell him? no. i can't, and i won't.

"it's nothing, really. don't stress," i say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as i start walking again.

"whatever you say," he says and follows closely behind me. i know he didn't believe me but he didn't have to, i just can't tell him. that's all.

he slung his arm over my shoulder and i felt the same pang in my chest because i know that he doesn't mean it as anything more than friendly.

but more about lucas, he was always a sports guy at heart so he joined the college team as our starting wide receiver, he got so much taller and i stayed the same height.

he was about 6'3 now and i was only 5'2, a shortstack indeed.

he always told me it was cute, how short i am but i know that his words were nothing more than a friendly gesture.

"isn't it weird for you? your arm around me?" i ask him with a small smile and her looks down at me- literally.

"why because i'm dating riley-" he begins.

"no, no. because you're a giant and i'm a hobbit." i say laughing and he smiles.

"i'm used to it shortstack," he says and i roll my eyes.

"you're lucky that i secretly like that nickname," i say before realizing that what i said could sound like flirting.

he smiles down and me with a small chuckle and i look ahead, and as wrong as it may be, i honestly am glad that riley goes to a different college.

otherwise, this would never and right now i want nothing to change. well, nothing except lucas's proposal.

we finally get off campus and walk into our apartment building that was only six blocks down.

this place was literal proof that bigger wasn't always better and it was such a step up from where i grew up.

"movie later?" lucas asks me.
"your place or mine?" i ask him as we take the elevator up to the third floor.

"wherever you want." he says as i step out the elevator and i smile and reply,

"see you at yours at eight," i smile as the doors begin to close.

"just come on up, shortstack," he calls and i chuckle and walk to my apartment.

as soon as i'm in i kick my shoes off and lay them next to the entrance, before going to the bathroom to remove my makeup and take a shower, washing my hair and all.

i changed into my pajamas that consisted of a nude colored baggy shirt and black shorts, and sit down to do my homework at the desk in my room.

it was only 6:47 after all, and college isn't like highschool. college demands a good work ethic if i was to graduate, highschool i just needed b's and c's now i need a's and b's.

i've matured since highschool. i toned down my clothing style and did better with work and my impulse control. everything has gotten better.

after i'm done with homework and iv'e successfully watched some of an episode of sherlock, i secure a hair tie around my wrist just in case and make my way up to his apartment.

he always leaves his ladder down for me, he's sweet like that.

i climb in through the window and don't see lucas in his residential spot on the couch so i call out for him, "lucas..?" i call and immediately get a response back.

"hold on, sorry, i just took a shower!" he calls back and i nod even though i know he can't see me.

he came out in basketball shorts and a t- shirt. i smile up at him as he asks what we're watching.

"is that even a question?" i chuckle as he hops over the couch to sit next to me and smiles,

"twenty one jump street it is," he says wrapping an arm around me and i sigh.

lucas, you have no idea what you're doing to me, do you?

♡
ignore me back at it again editing a book to match my aesthetic and fix the plot and writing lmao.

whatever, if your a new reader: hi! sorry i'm a mess!!

and if you've come back, for some reason: sorry for being unorganized trash!!

anyways, enjoy!!