Thirty One Things I Never Told You

The Twenty Fifth and TwentySixth Things I Never Said.

.•Lucas's P.O.V•.
If you were wondering, yes I did stay up until 4:00 am thinking about Maya. Or my idea of Maya anyways.

I know I should trust her.

But I can't.

I don't think she meant fake, the way I interpreted it when I first heard it. I think she's building walls again. God I don't want her to build those walls again.
Now it wasn't bad... At first.
Let me regale you in a not so humerus tale of how bad it got in high school.

Maya's mother got a boyfriend.
Now I know what you thinking.

"Oh it's the 'abusive father figure cliché!"

Yeah, no. It wasn't him, or her mom...
it was his other girlfriend.
He would come home with her when Maya's mom was working an extra shift, they would fuck and then when he left she stayed behind and beat Maya.
Maya wouldn't, for the life of her, talk about it.
She turned to cigarettes.
She ditched Riley on her ass and started hanging out with the burnouts, granted she was never as bad as them, but she was getting there, and fast.
She started dying her hair, the ends were always blue or lilac, and yes I admit it was hot but it wasn't Maya.

It was a bout-to-be-a-burnout smoker, with dyed hair, a cold heart and an iron fist.

Shawn died that month, April of junior year.

Maya didn't show up to school, or Topangas. She changed her number and blocked Riley, Farkle, and I on all social media sites.
I was worried so I came to check on her, I wish I hadn't.

But at the same time I'm glad I did.

I walked in to hear Maya's screams and seeing a lady's leg fly into Maya's stomach, and if the action itself wasn't bad enough, she was wearing heels.

I ran to Maya and pushed the women onto the floor, she drunkenly slurred something incoherent in response.

I helped Maya up and she crashed at my house that night. Her arm was bleeding, her nose was badly bruised and she had a black eye.

But she wasn't crying.

She wasn't doing anything. She wouldn't talk, or move, or smile and her eyes looked grey.

"Maya?"
I remember me calling her name over and over to which there was no reply.

She started ditching, she wouldn't talk, and she was so hateful. I swear if looks could kill, anything that looked her in the eye would die a painful death.

One time I remember Riley looking so hurt and asking:
"Why do you enjoy seeing us in so much pain."

Maya shrugged and just said
"Let's me know I'm not alone."

She was stone cold. Her face always read 'fuck you', her lips said the same thing. She didn't even bother with the fake smile bullshit.

You couldn't even tell she was hurt! I swear, trying to read Maya Hart was like trying to read a fucking brick.

One day I walked up to my locker and found a red post it in it and it read "thanks for April."
It smelled like lilac and smoke.
It smelled like Maya.

I should have fucking knew.
The day I saw her with that box of ciggs I should have known that she was relapsing. I should have seen the grey.

And it hurts more now then it did in April, because this time the walls are building because of me.

"Dude, you okay? You've been staring at sleeping beauty for 30 minutes now."

Jackson said. He was right, she was in a different place than she was last night though. She was resting her head on Zach's chest. And his arms were loosely placed around her neck.
Looks like they fell asleep hugging.

"Are they dating or something?" I ask trying not to sound irritated or upset.

"Someone's jealous." Jackson says walking around trying to find his phone.

"So what if I am?" I question.

"So then, you fucked up. It's obvious that she likes- or liked you" Jackson says.

"What do you mean, liked?"

"I mean exactly what I said, girls like Maya know when to give up, and soon enough your gonna be another josh. Gone and in the past, and Maya will have moved on. Girls like Maya don't wait." Jackson said looking at me dead in the face.

"Well, are they dating?" I asked again.

"No but they have, they were cute but there was no challenge and we all know that's what Maya wants. Zach cried. But then he moved on. She did too. But they've been talking a lot lately and I have a feeling that will change if Lucas Fuckboy Friar doesn't grow a pair and step in." He said.

"When the hell did this happen?"

"Her burnout phase, that's how they met. Zach was into smoking too, he quit shortly after they broke up though, every time he looked at one it fucked him up, reminded him of her."

"Your gonna be just like him, and half the boys who meet her if you don't hike up your skirt and say something."

Ouch.

"Well damn. I know I fucked up okay worse than you know." He gave me a questioning look but let it go.

Just then we heard two yawns in Unison, Maya and Zach woke up realized there position and blushed and separated. Maya turned to look at the wall and Zach looked at the back of her head longingly.
He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it and looked at his lap.

I rolled my eyes, and then I realized that what Maya is doing to Zach is what I was doing to her.

Jackson sure does know how to fuck up a conscience.

And Maya sure knows how to fuck with feelings.

I know how to fuck with hearts.

Riley knows how to fuck with friendships.

Zach knows how to fuck with my plan.

What a bunch of screw-ups we are, huh?

-.-.--,.-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-.-,-.-,-.-,-.-.-..-.-.
Boom! Whole chapter in Lucas's p.o.v! And it's cool, hope you all like it. Will be updating more frequently.
THANKS FOR READING, LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

The song kinda describes Zach and Maya during their burnout phase and the next chapter will focus on them.