Thirty One Things I Never Told You

The Seventh And Eighth Things I Never Said.

Lucas oh Lucas how you don't even know. You hurt me really bad and the scars aren't fading so... Leave me be, let me go all you'll do is hurt me more.
......
Its been a week and I've been staying in a hotel. Lucas has been calling me a lot lately so i blocked his number. I didn't want to talk to him anymore. Today was Thursday and i have to go back to campus.
I walked into campus and straight to English, my report was due today and i had it all ready.
I was the first one there and so i took a seat and waited for Mrs. Duemont to start the lesson.
"Alright class, today we are going to work on poetry, after all this is the advanced class." I smiled.
"We will be going outside and writing, pouring our hearts out about what we see." Easy.

The class got up and left the room, as did i and we all went outside. There were trees and bushes and flowers and all that jazz. But, there was one particular flower that caught my attention.
I began to write.

Blue as the tears that stream down my face
Blue as the sky above the human race
Blue as the ocean that will let me sail home
Blue as the mind of somebody left alone
Blue as my eyes seeing the world
The bluest of blues
The purest if beauty
The best thing I've ever seen
Could soften the heart of a villainous fiend.

I wrote gingerly across the paper. I always loved English after my eighth grade teacher Harper. I guess she changed me, just like Mr. Mathews always said: "people change people." I smiled at the memory.
   I turned around and cane face to face with Lucas. Ha, no wonder I forgot he was in an advanced class. With him acting so stupid when he was drunk  for the past what? Five weeks now, i managed to forget he was a good student.
   "Hey Maya." He smiled at me, as if he hadn't hurt me. It was only two weeks after he hit me, but five weeks since he began drinking.
  "Glad to see your sober enough to not slur you words, asshole." I said sneering at him and walking away making sure to push him in the act.
   I walked away from him and tried to find something else to write about.
  "Woah, whats with the attitude, newfound anger issues?" He said jokingly.
   "Well, you should know about anger issues." I said. Under my breath I mumbled "woman beater".
   I tried to walk away from him when he grabbed my wrist. A rush of panic and worry came over me and the scene of him hitting me flashed through my head. I ripped  my wrist out of his grip and looked at him.
    "You, and drinking shouldn't mix, you my ex-friend almost beat the shit out of me... That is if i didn't knee you right in your nut sack. Therefore we are not on speaking terms. Good luck having babies now, asshole. Your nut sack is ruined, but I digress; what i meant to say is..." I trailed off.
   "What i meant to say first and foremost was... Fuck you."
   Yes Maya, you go girl!
"The doctor says that you'll need to apply ice to that burn sir." Mathew called from behind me. I smiled, but quickly dropped it. Smiling shows weakness, and i am not weak.
   I turned around, with the sway of my hips and the flip of my hair leaving Lucas confused and shocked, that i said that to him.
   "Maya i have no idea what your talking about." He said, genuinely confused.
    I explained the whole situation to him, of course with the occasional insult.
    "Maya i was drunk." He said.
"Do you want to try making a valid excuse?" I said to him.
   "Look Lucas i don't care if you were drunk. The point is you hurt me and all the trust that i put in you is gone." I said calmly. He wasn't getting the satisfaction of seeing me angry.
   "I wasn't in control Maya, its not my fault." He said, i scoffed.
"Yes you were. You chose to drink, to look for answers at the bottom of a bottle, Lucas. If its not your fault, then whose was it? Huh, Lucas? Are you suggesting that it was mine? Because its not, i came yo there to see if you were okay. To help; and what did i get? Two handprints on my face and emotional damage. You chose to deal with your problems that way Lucas." I said, with an emotionless face, but glossy eyes threatening to spill tears.
   "And,so what would you suggest? I cut my wrists like you did in middle and high school Maya?!" He yelled at me.
   " i would never suggest that you hurt yourse-" i just now processed what he said.
   "What. Did. You. Just. Say. To. Me?" I said sternly.
   A look of remorse took over his features.
He didn't bother saying anything else though. What was said was said and what was done was done, and nothing can take back anything he has said or done, to me.
   I just walked away. Because I'm learning little by little how to be a better version of myself.
    Because I'm better than that.

.....
Lucas you asshole, i still love you even though i hate you. You should wear o condom on your head, i mean if your gonna act like a dick i guess you should dress like one too.

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Hello POTATOES WASSSSUUUUPPP?

The song i paired with this is absolutely perfect for Maya in this chapter. And ps Mathew in the background made me laugh. Comment how ya feel about this chapter and ALSO how are you guys? I hope you had a good day!!! K byeeee.