Thirty One Things I Never Told You

The Seventeenth And Eighteenth Things I Never Said

    Tame your girlfriend Lucas, i love her i really do but i don't like her like this. This is not the r\Riley that i want to be friends with.

......

Billy dropped Lucas and i off at our apartment building. My feet were killing me, i danced way too much, and now i want to just fall into a deep sleep. I trudged up the stairs with Lucas in silence. Nothing was wrong but it was just one of those moments when its better off quiet, you know?

  I opened the door to my apartment with a smile on my face, Lucas followed me in and then took the fire escape up.

"See you later, clutterbucket." He called back to me.

"Whatever you say...bucky mc boing boing..." I called after him and i could hear his faint laughter as he walked up the fire escape.

I laughed quietly to myself as i went into my room, it was around 11:00 now so i  am gonna just wait until tomorrow to take a shower, i took of the dress and threw it into the hamper. I put on a baggy shirt and i sat on my bed i unlocked my phone and i checked instagram. huh, twenty likes from the picture i took at the reunion.

   I lied on my side, locking my phone again. Just as i was about to close my eyes my phone started ringing. I rolled my eyes and had the urge to punch something in the neck. I get violent when i'm tired, so what?

  I checked the caller ID and surprise surprise, it was... Riley?

I answered the call, knowing that i was either walking into an argument or an agonizingly long sorry speech.

"hello." I said rudely.

"Maya... i'm sorry. Its just- I just... I got so angry when i found out for sure that you liked Lucas today. I was just walking in to your apartment and Lucas was looking at pictures from this box thingy and when i came in he tried to hide them and then i wanted to see them and when i did i got angry. I don't know why. Maya i don't know." Riley rambled on.

"Was that supposed to explain why, you, yes you, Riley Mathews, make Alaya Towns, yes the fake bitch Alaya Towns, give me the worst four years of my life?" I asked her, trust me i love Riley but she just pisses me off sometimes.

And its hard to know that the person i loved (As a friend of course) was behind the trigger.

"When we were in high school Lucas and i gave dating another try after our one day relationship, i really didn't want to let him go this time. Maya, you and Lucas won favorite couple twice in middle school and in highs school. I was getting worried, If everyone preferred you two together over me and Lucas what if you and Lucas started to feel the same way as them? Alaya was my good friend and she always wanted me happy no matter what. I told her to bully you and call you names because if she called you worthless, then maybe Lucas would think you were too and then he would stay with me. I just didn't want my heart to be broken, Maya. Wouldn't you do the same?"

" Well when i think about it....No i actually wouldn't." I said.

"Maya i didn't want you and him to break my heart." She said pleadingly.

"And so to, assure that your heart would remain unbroken... you decided to 1. break my heart, 2. have Lucas stop talking to me for almost half of high school, 3. Almost cost Lucas and i our friendship, oh and then to make matters worse, even though you say your sorry you go ahead and pick a fight with me just hours before now." I said.

"Don't you, at least to some degree understand what i did, the things i did for."

"You were... jealous?" I asked her.

"No i wasn't."

"Think about it Riley. Lucas and I won best couple twice, you thought him and i would end up together so you went all evil bitch on me and got me bullied. That is pure jealousy." I explained to her.

"Can you at least try and see things through my eyes?" Riley pleaded.

"Yeah, i guess i can." I said, silence fell upon us for about 2 minutes.

"So does that mean we're cool?" Riley asked me.

"Are you fucking stupid? See things through my eyes. Would you forgive you after some shit like this? Give me a while to think about it because i don't want to poison my life with people who don't have loyalty."

I said to her, throughout this entire conversation i kept a calm voice i was tired as fuck and i wasn't about to yell right now.

"Alright, ill give you time." Riley said reluctantly.

"thank you." I said into the phone.

I hung up on her and got up from my bed. I'm stressed right now and i have to make a decision right now, i don't want to. What if i choose wrong? I went into my living room and pulled out a package from the bottom draw, the one i don't let anybody look in. I haven't needed to open this draw in years.

I took the small box, from inside the draw and i sat on the fire escape. I took a deep breath and looked out onto the city below, few cars driving by. Sun at the end of setting and clouds vanishing. 

I looked up at Lucas's room to make sure he was asleep. Because i know he wont like what i'm about to do.

I Took out my old lighter and a pack of cigarettes.

I lit one and put it to my mouth, i took a long drag of the smoke and then puffed it out. There was a burning in the back of my throat, and a stale smell in the air, both because of the smoke.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Haven't done this in a while. After three more puffs i put the lighter and the pack back in the box and smashed the remaining heat of the flame on the cigarette between my middle finger and my thumb before throwing it below me. I frowned, wasn't this supposed to relieve stress, why the hell isn't anything leaving my mind. I groaned in disdain.

I walked back inside and closed the box and put it in the draw. I walked into the kitchen to get some water.

I dank my water and went back to me room.

I closed my eyes and i was out like a light.

......

I'm sorry, i know you don't want me to smoke but i felt like i had too so i did. I'm sorry.

......

HEYYYYOOOOO

So, i updated today... yay.

I wouldve done this earlier but i had no wifi. I was on vaction.

I wanted to know if you guys would want me to make a Lucaya one shot book, if i did it wouldnt be updated as frequently as this book... IDk but i have a lot of ideas that i can't put in this book.

ANYWAYYYYY

comment your thoughts on that, and the chapter.

Vote, comment and stay awesome!! BYEEEE