Instant Mommy

Chapter 21

Tahimik ang buong sasakyan habang binabaybay namin ang daan pauwi. I would glance at Jacob from time to time to check on him. His knuckles were white from how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel. I know he was trying his best to calm himself up.

I bit my lower lip when he caught me staring at him. He gave me a reassuring smile as he placed one of his hands on my lap, squeezing it.

Hinawakan ko ang ang kamay niya mula sa hita ko at pinagsaklop iyon. Inangat ko ang tingin ko sa rearview mirror para silipin si Jayden na nakatingin lang din sa labas ng bintana ng sasakyan.

The whole car ride home was quieter than we usually have. It was not the peaceful kind of quiet but the careful kind.

When we got home, Jayden didn't run ahead like he usually does. He didn't toss his shoes by the door, and he didn't even ask to be carried. He simply held my hand as we stepped inside the house.

And that was when I knew.

Children are more sensitive than we often give them credit for. They don't always need explanations, they read the air, feel the shifts, and sense what's beneath the surface.

Pagpasok namin sa bahay ay agad na tahimik na nagtungo sa kusina si Jacob. Mariin ko siyang sinundan ng tingin mula sa gilid ng mata ko habang tinulungan si Jayden magtanggal ng sapatos niya.

Tinapik ang pisngi ni Jayden ng matanggal ko ang sapatos niya. He smiled at me showing his dimple before he got up from the couch

"Go change na, baby," I watched him go upstairs silently.

I glanced at the kitchen door contemplating whether to follow Jacob. He seemed tense the whole ride and I'm scared to ask questions.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong hininga at pabagsak na umupo sa sofa. Hindi ko inalis ang tingin ko sa pinto ng kusina para hintayin na lumabas si Jacob.

I could hear the faint sound of the faucet and the clatter of dishes. I didn't know if he was really doing something or just searching for a way to process what had happened earlier.

Muli akong napabuntong hininga bago tuluyang tumayo at umakyat sa itaas para sundan si Jayden.

Pagdating ko sa kwarto niya, nakahiga na siya sa kama, yakap ang teddy bear niya habang nakatitig sa kisame. Nilapitan ko siya at umupo sa gilid ng kama, saka marahang hinaplos ang buhok niya.

"You're quiet tonight, baby." I murmured, fixing his blanket over his body.

He just shrugged. A few seconds passed before he turned his body towards me and looked slightly annoyed while his forehead was furrowed.

"Mommy," he called carefully, "was Daddy mad earlier?"

My hand stopped caressing his hair.

"No," I replied immediately, but I tried to keep my tone calm. "He was just thinking about something."

"He seemed mad," he hugged his teddy bear even tighter.

Ngumiti ako at inayos ang kumot niya. "Sometimes there are things that weigh on adults' minds. But that doesn't mean he's mad at you."

He was silent for a moment before asking softly, "He's not angry with me?"

I moved closer and kissed her forehead. "No, baby. Daddy loves you very much. You didn't do anything wrong."

Pinagmasdan niya ang mukha ko, tila sinusuri kung nagsasabi ba ako ng totoo, bago siya tuluyang tumango. Ilang sandali pa ay bumigat na ang paghinga niya hanggang sa tuluyan na siyang makatulog.

I sat there even though Jayden was already asleep. I couldn't help but think back to the scene earlier in the mall. Jacob's cold voice, the warning I heard in every word he uttered, and the way that woman looked at me.