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🐧Sunghoon - Bulimia🥴

Thus was requested by  t4kess
Tysmmmmm for requesting

Tw: Fainting, throwing up/purging

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Sunghoon had always prided himself on being strong.

In the past, he’d been the calm one, the steady presence in the group. But over the past few months, everything had started to feel a little too heavy, and it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

The weight of expectations, the constant pressure to look perfect on stage, and the scrutiny of the public eye were beginning to take their toll on him.

It started with small thoughts, little voices in his head telling him that he wasn’t good enough, that he wasn’t thin enough, pretty enough, or fit enough.

But eventually, those thoughts began to grow louder, turning into something far more consuming.

He hadn’t meant for it to get this bad. At first, it was just small adjustment.

Skipping a meal here and, cutting down portion sizes there. But before he knew it, he was only eating once a day.

And even then, he didn’t eat much, fearing that each bite would make him weaker or less in control.

He’d tell himself it was just a phase, that he could stop whenever he wanted. But the whispers of doubt inside his mind only got louder.

And then came the purging.

It didn’t feel like a choice anymore.

It felt more like something he had to do to feel like himself again, to regain some sense of control over a body that he felt was slipping away from him.

Every time he ate, it felt like the world would crumble around him, like he was failing not just himself but his members too.

So, he’d run to the bathroom, his stomach a tight knot of shame, and rid himself of everything he had eaten.

It wasn’t until today that Sunghoon realized just how far he’d fallen.

The members had been in the dorm, preparing for their next schedule. Sunghoon had been quiet all morning, his eyes distant as he stared out the window.

It wasn’t unusual for him to be this reserved, but today, something was off.

He hadn’t eaten breakfast, and the small meal they’d been provided for lunch had barely been touched.

He could feel his stomach gnawing at him, but the thought of food filled him with anxiety.

“You okay?” Jake asked, noticing the way Sunghoon kept fidgeting with his hands. He had been staring at the small plate of food in front of him for what felt like forever.

Sunghoon gave a small nod, his eyes flickering up for a moment before quickly looking away. “I’m fine.”

But Jake wasn’t convinced. Sunghoon had been “fine” for days, but he’d noticed the changes. The quietness, the way his older brother looked at his food with disgust, and the fact that he’d been losing weight rapidly.

Jake didn’t say anything right then, but he felt a knot of worry form in his stomach.

He didn’t want to press Sunghoon, but something wasn’t right.

The schedule that afternoon was a blur for Sunghoon.

His head was heavy, his body light as if he were floating. He could feel his heart beating erratically, but he pushed through, forcing a smile and doing his best to blend into the background.