Puppy Love • Seungchan/Chanmin

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Chan stares at his ceiling like it was the greatest show in the world, his eyes practically unblinking, his mouth silently open in a state of shock. It'd only been 30 minutes since his alarm went off at 8:30am but he'd barely moved an inch. Why? Because Chan was replaying the prior evening in his head, and how his nights plans had gone in ways he had never even foreseen.

Originally, Chan wanted to sit with his friends and Seungmin post show and have a drink, a bit more of a getting to know you type of situation. His friends were an important part of his life, and he wanted Seungmin to feel included and a part of his world. Then after, he wanted to whisk Seungmin away, explore the street at night, grab a bite to eat, kiss the boy senseless and then take him home.

That plan never came to light as Seungmin became an indoor human water feature, and not the pretty kind you find out in front of manor houses in the country.

Chan had been shocked at the sight and worried as to what his audience and, more importantly, his friends would think. But then in the seconds that passed as he looked across the crowd he realised that half the audience weren't even looking, it was only the people in his immediate space that had jumped back, and his friends were only looking towards him with questioning eyes, ready to follow his lead. Above everything else though, he wasn't angry, he just felt bad for Seungmin and annoyed at himself for not having taken better care of the younger in the first place.

Chan was sure others in his situation wouldn't have shown the same kindness. He'd seen many fights between couples during the nights he'd spent with his band, playing gigs at the bar. He'd seen those people snap because someone had one too many drinks, he'd seen the hurt, the irritation, the resentment. But Chan had no interest in badgering Seungmin for what had happened, the younger was intoxicated. Raising his voice probably would have worsened the situation rather than do any good. So moving past the events that had unfolded, and letting go of his displeasure had been easy.

When it came down to it, Chan just wanted to take care of Seungmin and look after him instead.

So, as he'd taken Seungmin to his car he'd held the boy calmly, and as he'd settled the younger down and soon had him buckled in the safety of the passenger seat, he'd decided to keep him with him rather than drive him home straight away. That way, he could monitor the younger and sober him up a little before driving him back home to where his parents might be watching and waiting. The last thing he wanted to do was leave a bad impression of himself on them.

In the loose sense, he'd chosen to persist with part two of their date. Part two just went a whole lot differently to how he'd envisioned it.

Thinking fast as he sat and comforted a regret-filled Seungmin, Chan had challenged his brain for somewhere more comfortable and quiet he could take care of him. He'd quickly recalled the movie night his college held, and had chosen to take Seungmin there.

As they'd arrived, Chan had no interest towards the old film on the screen, and instead had spent the entirety watching and taking care of Seungmin. He'd found him a quiet place to sit and then sped off in pursuit of water to get the younger hydrated. Chan didn't care if water was coming out his ears, he'd flood the boy's insides until the alcohol was flushed from his system.

As he sat taking care of Seungmin, he realised how much he cared for the younger in the sense that he just wanted him to be ok. By the time the film ended, Chan was just content to forget the evening and get Seungmin home safely and somewhat more soberly, but then Seungmin had wanted to talk and their conversation in the car had a whole new kettle of fish opening up.

Seungmin was hellbent in comparing himself to his ex, Yugyeom, which was a topic of conversation Chan hadn't even geared himself up for. It's not that he didn't plan on talking about his ex-boyfriend if Seungmin had asked in the future, he just hadn't expected to on his second date and to that amount of prying detail.

Yugyeom was an important part of his history, Younghyun knew that and Seungmin had come to learn that from him too. But Yugyeom was not a part of Chan's future, and he never would be.

At the time of dating, Yugyeom wanted a partner he could move in with, someone he could spend his life with. But Chan could never see a future like that with the older; he just wanted to enjoy the relationship as it was and not think too far ahead.

Chan would always appreciate the experiences they shared and the things he learnt about himself while they were together, but he'd never regret the choice he made to walk away from their relationship.

He wasn't ready for what Yugyeom wanted from him, but more importantly despite their very similar gentle hearts and family orientated commonalities, Yugyeom wasn't prepared to wait for him either. He'd turned moving out into an ultimatum, a declaration of their feelings. Chan was made to feel like he didn't care for Yugyeom enough if he couldn't move in with him, like Yugyeom's feelings were deeper simply because he was ready to move out of home.

Hearing Seungmin- talking with him in the confines of the car, it made Chan realise that he never wanted to put Seungmin in the position where he had to prove himself or where he felt trapped. What unfolds between them should happen naturally and without pressure, and moving in together that's something he never wanted to force Seungmin to do. Because even though Chan was ready to move out, he wouldn't force Seungmin to follow his lead.

What Chan hadn't anticipated however, was for Seungmin to bring up moving out first. It just drove home that when a relationship is right, it works.

But then Seungmin's quieter comment that followed, "I don't deserve you," really got under Chan's skin. It was like Seungmin saying that he wasn't doing enough to deserve his care and affection, like a quiet confession that he should be doing more, that he should be doing better. But that wasn't the case. Chan, to put it very sincerely, loved Seungmin just the way he is.

From the early days when Seungmin was a lot younger he'd quietly learnt to admire the boy's personality and had expected nothing of him. Still now, as their present relationship developed, Chan didn't require him to do more or be more, he just wanted Seungmin as is, and he wanted Seungmin to know they were on equal ground...which is why he'd blurted out that they were boyfriends.

He could see the shock on Seungmin's face, and he knew deep down there were thousands more romantic ways he could have asked Seungmin to be his boyfriend, but he had no plan to take back his words. Especially since Seungmin didn't dispute it.

But see, this is where Chan was left now in the morning, remembering the fact that Seungmin was intoxicated and that he didn't give Seungmin much of a choice. Was he like Yugyeom in that sense, forcing Seungmin too soon and not clarifying if they were both ready? Chan wasn't sure, but he knew deep down, everything felt ready.

Chan takes his pillow from beside himself and slams it over his face to muffle his own frustrations.

But his muffled screams are very quickly halted as his door flies open, out of the blue, revealing not his mother, or his father, or even Jeongin, but instead his best friend, Younghyun.

"Chan?" Younghyun questions.

This time Chan expresses his emotions out loud.

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