Puppy Love • Seungchan/Chanmin

•⊱•••• 35 (M) ••••⊰•

Seungmin was unmistakably upset, simmering anger and on the verge of breaking into a thousand shards, -and Chan? He knew it was all his fault.

At first Chan just thought Seungmin felt out of place being amongst his two older friends; the younger didn't know them that well, and his first impression with Younghyun hadn't been smooth. Then he'd thought that maybe Seungmin felt uncomfortable borrowing Wonpil's clothes, they were barely acquainted. But as they'd sat side by side across from the pair, Chan knew he was just kidding himself; it was more than that.

What Chan could see, what he could hear in Seungmin's voice, it was clearly only a fraction of the hurt he actually felt; the hurt Chan himself had inflicted. He didn't blame Seungmin for pushing him away and avoiding his touch, he hadn't given the younger the clarity and confidence he needed for the relationship to keep going. He'd masked his true emotions and buried away his conversation with Jeongin like a letter in a time capsule.

As Seungmin walked away from him in the hall, Chan's heart rate spiked. He barely looked back at Wonpil and Younghyun as they left out the front door to grab dinner, before he was chasing after Seungmin. It was up to him to make things right.

The younger was now outside in Younghyun's backyard, the cool night's air encircling him like a viper to its prey.

"Min? Seungmin?" Chan calls softly and cautiously as he braves the cold. A shiver runs down his spine, making the hairs on his arms stand up.

Seungmin breathes out deeply, his breath casting mist into the darkness. He then turns on his heels and, as he does, Chan's heart breaks and his resolve falters.

The younger's cheeks were stained with silent tears and his voice, as it spoke, felt like watching the moon lose its glow.

"He doesn't want us to be together, does he?" Seungmin sobs. "You've spoken with him, -Jeongin, haven't you? Just tell me, ok, because I want to be with you Chan, but his answer matters to me too, and I know it'll matter to you too, even if you say it doesn't. The fact that you haven't told me anything is already evidence in itself. I just, I- I think I might be- well- I think i've fallen in love with you Chan but if you can't love me openly, then I don't think this is going to work. I don't want to tip-toe around your brother and your family for the rest of my life, I don't want to be your dirty little secret you keep locked away in your closet..."

Chan hears everything Seungmin is saying but it all becomes a blur as one four letter word stands out above the rest.

love

Chan steps forwards but he doesn't dare touch Seungmin yet. He'd forced the boy into this fragile state, so he had to be careful in order to get him out of it.

Chan wipes his own eyes, brushing away the tears that were forming at its corners.

"I spoke with In-ah already." Chan states. "I actually spoke with him after that Sunday I visited your home, and he was ok, in fact he was surprisingly more ok than I could have ever anticipated. He understands how weird this situation is, just as well as we do but he's ok with us being together, I promise."

Seungmin's chest rises and falls, his tears slowing but nowhere near less present. "Then why didn't you tell me?" He cuts sharply. "Speaking to In-ah was a big deal to both of us, you and I both know that. Tell me, why has it taken you so long?"

Chan stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks unconfidently at the ground. "Because I love you Min. I've fallen in love with you too"

Chan looks up as Seungmin eyes go wide, his mouth opening silently.

"I'm just scared, ok. I love you and I'm scared," Chan confesses, trying not to scream because of how vulnerable he felt. "Talking with In-ah was easy, easier than I thought it would be, but realising how I felt about you? That scares the shit out of me. Sure, we've known each other for years but our friendship, it's barely 2 months old and our relationship, barely 2 weeks! The way I feel about you Seungmin caught me by surprise, but I don't want to move away from these feelings, I want to explore them, to dive head first into them just as we've always said. I just want to know that you will be by my side."