Dreamcatcher (FreenBecky)

Chapter 28: From scratch

Present time...

And here again, it's as if the whole world stops. Yes, this is not the first time Becca has felt this way, but for some reason now it's equivalent to the moment when she found out she was sick. It seemed like she'd been replaying the moment in her head when Freen would find out for so long, but you have to admit, no matter how much you think you're ready, in the end you still freeze in shock, shaking with fear, feeling how hard your heart is pounding inside. You feel so afraid that you start to feel sick, and you don't understand how real this feeling is right now.

Becca understands that no matter what she starts saying now, everything has already been said in the letters Freen read. She's so angry at herself now that she didn't tell her lover everything at least a day earlier, but she's not sure that would have changed anything. She's not even sure what Freen is angrier about: her lie or the fact that she didn't tell her herself.

Freen's look is so angry, God, and Becca wants to fall on her knees in front of her and beg for forgiveness forever. She wants to do anything to make her beloved forgive her or at least not be angry, she understands that now nothing can help except time, but Becca does not give up trying until the last.

"Answer!" Freen hisses.

There are tears in her eyes, her eyebrows are drawn together and her gaze does not leave the brown-haired girl's face. She terrifies Becca with just one look, and now she does not care at all about the girl's condition.

"Forgive me" Becca whispers quietly, looking at her beloved with sad eyes. She timidly reaches her hand to Freen's knee, but as soon as she touches it with her thin fingers, the brunette pushes her away with such strong irritation that Becca staggers in surprise and falls back, squatting and leaning her back against the wall.

"Don't touch me!" Freen angrily throws out and abruptly jumps up from her seat, throwing the letter right at Becca, which makes her close her eyes, covering her face with her hand.

Becca opens her eyes and tries to get up from the floor after Freen.

"Look at me!" Freen starts screaming, pointing her finger at her chest, not taking her eyes off the girl. "Answer me, why?"

Becca tries to take a step towards her beloved, but she demonstratively steps back from her.

"I only wanted a better life for you" she answers, what she has said hundreds of times before, but Freen seems to ignore it, because she has heard it before.

"I have heard it before, but the truth is that you did not think about me, because you are selfish! You always made decisions for everyone and you did it again, and this time you screwed up so badly that you ruined our lives!" the brunette screams, wiping away the tears seeping from her eyes with her hand. "It was not only your life! It was ours! Yours" she points her finger at the brown-haired girl "and mine!" she points at herself. "You made the stupidest decision in your life and did not even ask me. You decided everything yourself and took away my right to decide!"

"I know" Becca lowers her eyes, quietly saying these words, feeling Freen's gaze on her, and the echo of her scream is still carried throughout the loft.

"Who do you think you are, that you have the right to control my life? You didn't protect me, you condemned me to years of suffering and a life of loneliness!" Freen screams again, her voice broken from screaming and crying. "I loved you more than anything in the world, and I would rather sit by your bed for years, enduring your fits of anger, apathy, than live those same years without you in a false illusion of normality! Out of ten, I would choose you, and I would never even think about leaving. Even if I knew that you didn't have long to live, I would be with you every second. Because I loved you! I loved you!" She screams so furiously that she almost goes into hysterics, and she looks into Becca's eyes and sees how she is crying.