Niall Horan Imagines

Shut Up Niall

"After an elderly couple starts getting forgetful, they visit their doctor. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes.
When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," says the husband. "I can remember a dish of ice cream."
"Well, I'd also like some strawberries and whipped cream on it," the wife replies.
"My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I don't need to write it down."
He goes into the kitchen, and his wife hears pots and pans banging.
The husband finally emerges from the kitchen and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.
She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"" Niall tells you, while laughing his butt off.

"Are you serious, Ni?" you ask him, clearly not amused by his dumb joke.

"Wait.. wait.. wait! I have more," he grins over at you, after he catches his breath.

"What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food?" he asks, while grinning from ear to ear. Obviously proud of this Irish joke he had found.

You sigh, "what?"

"Gaelic breath," he says, while doubling over with laughter in his seat.

"Shut up Niall," you roll your eyes at him.

"Aw c'mon babe. You have to admit they're good!" he exclaims.

"They are worse than Harry's," you smirk at him.

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!" He yells, then his face falls realizing what he had said.

"Gotcha," you smirk triumphantly at him. He simply glares at you, and types away on his phone.

"How about some pickup lines," he says, moments later.

"Absolutely not," you shake your head.

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together," he reads, off his phone.

"No."

"You must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet," he says.

"I'm about to kick you out from under your feet," you scowl at him.

"But I'm sitting down," he smirks.

You huff, and cross your arms.

He looks over at you, and playfully grins. "The cops must be after you because it's illegal to look that good."

"It should be illegal to tell stupid jokes, and pick up lines," you huff.

"I hope you know CPR because you're taking my breath away," he said.

"I hope you have the ambulance on speed dial, because I'm about to punch you in the throat," you say,
while harshly glaring at him.

This is all he does when you're on a plane, and ifs absolutely annoying.

"Just one more," he pleads.

"No," you shake your head.

"I'm not drunk -- you intoxicate me."

"You are drunk," you tell him.

"I may not be-"

You shut him up, by clamping your hand over his mouth. "Shut up Niall."

++

Sorry this one is bad. Just some lame jokes and pick up lines. Lmao.

CREDS TO GOOGLE FOR THESE JOKES HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

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p.s. not edited.