I Want You All To Myself

Nineteen

Josh's POV 

Matt was emptying the cupboards on the counter in the search for something edible. In vain. "Wow, all you have is pasta and flour and salt and weird spices!? And..." Another small wooden door flew open. "...dishes." Matt sighed in frustration. "What about the junk food? Gosh, how do you survive!? And seriously, what even IS this?" He picked up a small brown bottle and held it up to his face in disgust. "Camel oil...? CAMEL OIL?" That was either one of the weird new things my mother was experiencing in her impulsive cooking spree, or it was some kind of soap. Matt looked about ready to vomit. "What's next? Llama spit? Mountain goat eye juice? Where do you keep the cauldron, Josh?" 

I doubled over in hysterics. This was almost as hilarious as Chubby Toby. "Stop! Can't... breathe..." I managed to gasp through my tears of laughter before dropping to the cold floor, drained of all energy. 

"Wow, I sure am funny," Matt concluded dubiously before returning to his search. "Eureka!" he yelled after about ten seconds. I looked up in curiosity and saw him holding up a box of Oreos like it was made of pure gold. "Why were you hiding, my babies?"  

"Because you're about to grind them to pieces in your mouth and swallow them and let them decompose in burning acid," I answered while getting up from the floor. "I'd hide if I were them." 

He shrugged. "True." And the Oreo massacre began. He gulped down three cookies in ten seconds and was about to reach for another one before I snatched the box from his hands.  

"Woah, slow down, cowboy! I wouldn't want my mom to think that... Nevermind, just take it easy." I wasn't about to start talking about my past bulimia problems now. I didn't even know why I had thought of that anyway. Ugh, stupid memory.  

Matt didn't seem to notice my uneasiness, being too focused on extracting the box from between my hands again. The little cast around his pinky and ring fingers kept sliding off and I practically gave him the box back in pity. 

"Wahn shum?" he asked right after stuffing his mouth again. Disgusting. 

"Er, no thanks." I didn't exactly feel like eating anything. Ever.  

A frown crossed Matt's face as he crossed his arms in exaggerated disappointment. "Buh, duhe," he started before swallowing noisily. "You look like a starving Third World child during a peaking famine. When's the last time you ate anything?" 

Dammit, I hated that question. "Uh-" 

"You've lost count, haven't you?" he said before I could answer. "You're aware that human beings need to absorb food in order to survive, right?" 

"Ok, listen up, Matthew," I ordered sharply, pointing my finger at his face. "First of all, I am not human. I'm a refugee from planet 'Shut Up', in the galaxy 'Leave Me Alone' visible between the stars 'I Don't Give A Shit' and 'It's None Of Your Business' in the constellation 'Go Fuck Yourself'. And second of all, Oreos are disgusting, and chewing in my face with the manners of a cow isn't helping."  

Matt's eyebrows went up in shock at my snappy reply. He froze in place for a second until a huge smile started growing across his face, and before I knew it, we were both snorting with laughter. Wow, this was so easy. 

"Eat it!" Matt yelled suddenly, half jumping on me and attempting to insert a cookie in my mouth. I pressed my lips together and shook my head. I was stuck between Matt and the wall with no chance at escaping. I tried pushing his hand away but he persisted, tickling me to get me to open my mouth. Despite my immense effort, I felt my lips finally part and gave up, laughing freely while the horrifying taste of the Oreo filled my mouth. 

"YES!" Matt let go of me, watching me wince in disgust with a triumphant look in his eyes. 

Ugh, that little-hey, this actually didn't taste so bad. Huh. "You know," I said once I was done swallowing-because, unlike Matt, I actually had some kind of manners, "these are pretty good."  

We finished the whole box in record time. My stomach welcomed the food happily, and I only then realised just how hungry I really was. I had been about to starve to death. 

"Matty, you saved my life." I just thought I should let him know. "Yet again."  

He chuckled at that, not quite realising how true it was. Oh Matthew, if you only knew. 

Hayley's POV 

After Alex had left, Jack had tried talking to me, but I had been unable to pronounce another word. Under the pitiful eyes of Zack and Rian, I had walked away from my ex-ow-boyfriend without even giving him a chance to stop me. I had only made things worse. Again. 

Why was he so nice to me? And why was everyone else treating me like dirt? Just this morning during band practice-an activity we had finally decided to resume after so long, except this time without Jack-Jeremy had shot me glares like throwing knives, he who was always so sweet to me. Jack was one of his best friends, and I had... I had... 

I had to face it. I had messed up real bad. I had to talk to him again. 

I just wished I knew what to say.  

And then, of course, there was that godforsaken phone number. I stared at it for timeless minutes that slowly amounted to hours, still without being able to call.  

I couldn't talk to him either. I couldn't talk to anyone. I might as well have been mute. At least I still had music. In time, I would learn to write songs without Jack's help. Just like I would do everything else without Jack's help. 

I would survive without Jack's help. 

I just wasn't sure how pleasant a survival it would be. I felt more and more like I was turning into a zombie. All this guilt was growing on me, making me feel tired from the first breath I took in the morning to the last blink of my eyes before I fell asleep-an action which seemed to happen later and later each night. 

And then there was my unbelievable hunger, my increasing headaches, even this annoying nausea that caught me at the most unexpected moments. I had never felt this miserable before. I could barely think, and all I wanted was to talk to someone, but I simply didn't know what those words that were making my head explode were.  

Josh, I love you. Jack, I'm sorry and... I love you too? Wicked.  

I was so confused. This was all wrong. 

Help.