I Want You All To Myself

Twenty-Two

Josh's POV 

"What the hell happened, man!?" Matt almost yelled in my face as I walked back into my house.  

"Chill, dude." I walked lamely to the couch and threw myself on it, turning on the TV while I made myself comfortable. Ok, so maybe Matt had a good reason to be confused. After all, I had stormed out of the house without a word and taken a two-hour walk after getting a phone call. Leaving him standing there. He probably thought I was a secret agent or something. ... 'Agent Ramsay, we have a mission of high importance for you. Report to headquarters immediately.' 

Matt suddenly walked in front of the TV and stood there with his hands on his hips and that annoying-little-brat look on his face.  

"I'm not a secret agent." I felt the urge to reassure him. 

His frown faltered for a second but he regained himself quickly-wow, he really WAS angry. "What the fuck are you talking about!?" he asked. I smirked. He would never know. He would spend the rest of his life trying to figure out what I was talking about and he would go mad and live in Wonderland with Alice. Haha. 

I really needed to control my thoughts a little. 

"Josh, where did you go!?" 

I fought the urge to say 'to HQ' and focused on the seriousness of the situation. I hated remembering though. I didn't want to think about Hayley and her-OUR bab-THING. I just wasn't ready to... accept this. I was just... so scared... 

"Hey, you ok?"  

My eyes flickered to Matt's now worried expression and I wondered what the hell was on mine.  

"Hayley's pregnant," I said, sitting up quickly as if my own words had sent an electric shock through my body. Matt gawked at me, unable to move. I waited patiently for his reaction, trying not to hyperventilate.  

Finally, a distorted smile started growing on his lips. "Seriously?" he asked in disbelief. I nodded guiltily and stared at the floor. "Whoa," I heard him mouth before he plopped down on the armchair across from me, next to the TV. "Well that sucks." I nodded again. I didn't know what to say. "Are you um..." Matt began slowly, rubbing his arm thoughtfully. 

"What?" 

"Are you happy? I mean, do you like... love the baby or something?"  

What the fuck. I stared at him with a look of pure disgust on my face while he stared back awkwardly. "Are you out of your mind?" I articulated slowly. I promised myself I wouldn't go punch him in the face now.  

"Well, I don't know! I've never gotten a girl pregnant before!" He threw his arms in the air defensively. "Maybe there was some weird chemical brainwash that automatically made you wanna... protect it and..." This was getting more awkward by the second. "Love it?" 

No punching, Josh. No punching. "I. Don't. Love it. I fucking hate it, Matt! Don't you understand!?" He looked at me with those concerned puppy eyes of his again, but I ignored him. I was making my point. "It's horrible. I wish this had never happened. I wish Hayley had never come back! I wish that THING didn't exist! I fucking hate it."  

Hayley's POV 

The hardest part was getting used to that strange presence following me through each of my steps. No matter what I did, he-IT-was always there. INSIDE me. I felt so watched that I longed for privacy and I sometimes felt like looking down at my belly and going, 'STOP STARING AT ME!' 

I didn't like it. But at the same time, it kept me from feeling that dreadful loneliness that had haunted me for a while after my misadventure with Jack, and for that I was grateful. I hadn't realised just how much that feeling was choking me before it was gone, but now I felt relieved. Because now, every time I felt lonely, I looked down, I smiled, and I told the little thing all that was on my mind.