I Want You All To Myself

Eighteen

Josh's POV  

"We did it." There, I said it. Go ahead Matt, make fun of me. Tell me I'm too young for that shit. Run away and never talk to me again. Just do SOMETHING. 

Matt stared at me for a few seconds, his face empty of emotion. And then, he frowned the slightest bit and asked, "Did what?" 

I had to refrain from slapping my forehead. How could he be so idiotic? "No, Matt. We DID IT." I made sure to put as much emphasis on the words as I could, plunging my gaze into his with what I hoped was a meaningful expression.  

Finally, FINALLY, his eyes widened in understanding. "Oh... Ooohhh!" Yes, dumbass, 'oh.' "Fuck," he muttered. 

"Yeah, that," I confirmed with a half-smile that I didn't quite feel.  

Matt went back to staring at me, until finally he smiled widely and a strange little laugh came out of his mouth. "SCORE, man!" he shouted, throwing his palm up in hope that I would actually high five him.  

Obviously, I wasn't gonna do that. I honestly hadn't expected this reaction from him, but it wasn't exactly better than the ones I had seen coming. I mean, how could he be HAPPY about this? Didn't he understand how fucked up this whole situation was? 

Oh, but maybe he didn't know. "Heh, yeah..." I said slowly, "except she has a boyfriend." 

His arm fell back into his lap limply as he gawked at me with his mouth literally hanging open. He quickly composed himself though, but only to ask me the weirdest most unexpected question. "Was she a virgin?" 

Uh, what? What did it matter!? What the FUCK? "Uh..." Ok, this was WAY too private. I wasn't actually going to answer that. "Yeaaah..." Oops, too late. Ugh, Hayley would hate me for this. 

"Well DUDE," Matt said immediately, as if I was supposed to understand something then. "If she'd rather lose her virginity with you than her boyfriend, I don't think he'll still be her boyfriend for long."  

Huh, he had a point.  

But it was all irrelevant. She loved him, so what did it matter?  

"So... what are you saying?" I asked cautiously. "That she'd rather be with me?" 

"That's exactly what I'm saying." He sure seemed confident. Maybe... maybe he was right. 

Still, it didn't hold together. "But dude, why would anyone pick ME?" 

He seemed confused by that question. "Why not?"  

"Well... because I'm... ME." Wasn't it obvious? I was a friendless asshole and a stupid failure. All I could do was get myself in trouble and turn everyone's lives to nightmares. Who the hell would want me? 

"So?" Matt asked, still confused. "What's wrong with you?" 

Wow, he really WAS an idiot. "Are you fucking kidding me? Do I need to make a list? You better have some spare hours in your schedule if you want to have enough time to read it!" I practically barked the words at him, but he didn't budge.  

Instead, he crossed his arms across his chest with a sympathetic smirk. "C'mon man, listen to yourself. I just think you're giving yourself a really hard time. I mean, do you honestly believe you're that bad?" He sounded like a fucking counselor. Ew. 

"Even worse," I answered coldly. "I don't see how anyone could ever like me." 

"And that makes me... the friendless reject who's stuck hanging out with the most obnoxious person in the universe?"  

I let out a short laugh. "Well, if you put it that way..."  

Matt raised his eyebrows, looking amused but a little insulted. He'd probably hoped I would give up and admit I was wrong. Ha, never.