*RACHELS POV*
••• 3 months later •••
- listen to Wings - Macklemore -
3 months. 3 months of no Cameron. I don't know what hurts more. A broken heart or Cameron not knowing who I am. I can't believe he never gained his memory back.. I've tried. I so have. I go over to his house a couple of times a week to tell him more stories, but it doesn't work. This is what my dad wanted all along. He wanted me and Cameron to never be together. He got exactly what he wanted. I have a broken heart and it can never be fixed. Cameron was the only one who could fix it. It's broken completely now.
I've cried. I've cried so much where I can't cry any longer. I thought everybody was suppose to have happy endings. Like Nate said, everybody is suppose to have a happy ending. Where's mine? I grab my keys and get in my car.
-
I reach Cameron's house and I walk into his house. I seen him on the couch. He looked happy.
"Hi." I say, with a crack in my voice.
He gets up off the couch.
"Rachel, I need to tell you something." He says.
"Yeah?"
"I-I don't love you anymore. I love someone else. I don't think I ever have loved you. I don't remember having any feelings towards you after the crash. I'm sorry." He says.
"No, I get it." I say, with a crack in my voice.
Tears threatening down my face.
"I should of let go. I mean, you obviously have. It's all hopeless, right?" I say with tears brimming in my eyes.
"Yeah.." He says. "But I'll always be here for you as friends."
"Friends.. Yeah." I say, wiping my tears. "I should go."
I run out of the house and into my car. Tears in my eyes, making it hard to see.
•
Once I get home, I pull out papers and a pen. I'm gonna leave. I can't stay here any longer.
Hayes;
I love you so much, Grier. I was thankful for you since day one and I'm thankful for you now. You are so stupid and funny, you can just make everything better by just being there. You made me find the light at tunnel and I'm grateful for you. I need to leave. I can't face Cameron any longer. Not when he doesn't love me... I hope you understand. I can take the pain anymore. Take care of Jill? Grow old together and have babies. Tell them about me if I don't get to see them again. Thank you for everything, Hayes. Goodbye.
Jill;
Hey, bitch. I love you, girly. You have stuck with me and you are my sister. You have always been there for me in crappy situations. Cameron doesn't love me anymore.. I can't take much pain any longer. I'm broken, Jill. I'm broken. Cameron loves someone else and it hurts. Thank you for being there for me through thick and thin. I'm leaving and I'm here to say goodbye. I hope we can meet one day in the future? I guess you could say. I want you to move on with life. I don't want you to hold back with anything. You just do it. God, you just fuxking do it with no regrets. You are my sister and you always will be. I love you lots. Goodbye, sis.
Nate;
Hey, best friend. (: I'm leaving and I'm probably not coming back. I just wanna say thank you for everything you have done. It's not your fault that I'm leaving. It's just Cameron doesn't love me anymore and it hurts.. It hurts because that boy with the brown eyes was my everything. I'm never gonna see those again because I'm leaving. I love you, Nate. I wish you told me you loved me sooner... I know you do. Hehe. <3 it's okay because I thought I liked you too. Thank you for everything, Nate. Please stay strong and find a new best friend. Don't wait for me. Just move, find love. Find a best friend that will help you.. ( but don't replace me ) thank you for everything.
Jack;
You are probably wondering why I'm writing a note for you? I wanna say thank you. Thank you for trying to warn me about my father. I should of believed you. God, I should of. I'm an idiot. I wanna say thank you for making me happy even if you were just pretending everything. I'm leaving, Jack. I hope you get out of prison and stop my dad. I want you to live a happy life with no regrets. You only deserve that. Thank you for everything, Jack. I hope we see each other one day in a different world. But for right now, goodbye.
Cameron;
I've loved you ever since I laid eyes on you. You don't remember me and it hurt like a mother fuxker. My world collapsed at the palm of my hands. I love you so much. Thank you for teaching me that you could always go back to the person who hurt you in the first place. I thought there was more to life than love. And I believed it. I am so thankful for you. Please, seek love. That's what you need. You wouldn't of lost your memory if it wasn't for me. Now, I think it's all my fault. So, I'm leaving and I might not be coming back. It depends on what happens. I hope you are happy, Cameron. I really do. I could go on and on about you on how you made me so happy. You were my world. I hope the storms pass and sunshine comes over you. I love you, friend.
Once I'm done, I sign my name on all of them and wipe my tears. I can't believe I'm leaving them. I leave the notes on the desk as I head in my car.
• trigger warning!!! •
-
I stand on the school building. My feet dangling barely. This is what my dad wanted. I hold open my arms and a tear escapes my face. It's hard to breathe and I don't have much time. I wanna fly. This is what I wanna do.
"Goodbye, world." I say, whispering.
I hold my arms out. I watch as the deep cuts I made in my arms won't stop bleeding. I hold my arm out and see blood drip down from the building. I was way, way, up high. I shut my eyes and take deep breathes.
That's when I finally... Jump.
I'll see you in the stars.
