Sweet Times ~ Expanded LxReader NSFW Alphabet

Wild Card - Just a sad ending

The morning fog 23 stories high held an all consuming sorrow. Seeping into the landscape, touching every surface with a misty hand. Only the hazy edges of trees peak out like accents of green in a slowly growing mold. An embrace so cool and silent, blanketing in sensational comfort, but unnerving in visual unknown. Condensation hangs on the windows, cars and people are just sounds, and the air smells fresh but stagnant. 

This morning you watched it roll in with the rising sun. The yellowish tint of diffused city lights in the darkness, lost in the growing overcast of a faint blue hue existing in the clouds beyond the glass. Their density changed with faint sounds of wind, allowing brief moments to see the grid of windows in the dark monoliths across the street. You imagined the air against your lashes as a clock ticked in the corner.

A knock on the door would come at any moment, your sign to leave for the cemetery, but for now you kept your gaze fixed. Your leg bounced. It had been hours in this chair, unable to sleep at the thoughts of the day. Memories, wishes, lost hopes dancing in the misty plums of the fog. A sense of dread builds just as it briefly as it dissipates as you see your reflection in the glass, only for another grey gust to bring you back to the empty distance.

It was 6 years since L had died, and hardly 1 since Light Yagami, Kira, was defeated. Its not language he would prefer, but half a decade without justice left you jaded.

He died only 105 days after he proposed to you.
His killer unrightfully took his name.
His successors split, and two died trying to solve his case.
And the only punishment Light received was death.

Light Yagami had split the closest thing a group of orphans had to a family, killed countless others on the grounds of returning the world to an idealistic eden, and went unpunished in the eyes of society. Just dead and forgotten like the rest of us will be.

In the SUV, the fog closes the atmosphere, separating the streets from the sky, and as you watch people rush up and down the wet morning streets, you suddenly wish you could slow down the driver to prolong your destinations arrival.

You were unsure why. You had visited his grave many times before. You helped plan the funeral, and that drive was like sitting in the backseat with hot soup the sorrow in your chest was so great. 

You continued to visit every year on halloween -his birthday- and his death day. A week of grieving and remembrance due to the dates being only 5 days apart, but often lead to a month of depression as another year without justice made his death made you yearn for the past, question your actions as if you were to blame. 

The day after Light died you visited and said nothing as you stood over his grave empty handed. Justice had been served and there was nothing left to give him except your tears that inevitably fell onto his grave. Logically, the dead cannot feel the alterations of the present no more than they can lift a finger, but you hoped peace could somehow still find L's spirit as you had found small relief in the justice against Light; not in every way but enough to move on.

Now suddenly every hum of the SUV's engine would ripple through your bones, and each turn signal echoed in your mind. You fidgeted with the strings wrapping the bouquet of lilies, white roses and chrysanthemums sitting in your lap. The stone walls of the cemetery entered your line of sight after another turn and your heart leaped into your head.

This wouldn't be the last time you came to visit, but it was the first since that visit after Light's death. You were visiting this grave on new terms and as the SUV rolled up to the gates, you hesitated to get out.

Each visit from now on would be about you, how you were growing and moving on, without L. You were going to share your new endeavours and dreams beyond the Kira case, but without L. You needed to start a new life, without L. 

You finally got out of the SUV, and stood outside the cemetery gates hearing the gravel crunch behind you as the car drove away. The metal gates creaked as you moved through them, and the silence between the rows of graves settled your mind. The grief in the atmosphere so great you simply appreciate the air hitting your skin as you begin walking. 

There was a seclusion to the grey overcast above. Claustrophobia closing in as fog once again begins to fall and wisp between the rows. You hold the bouquet tighter as you begin to focus on reading the names on the tombs.

As you began to approach, you remembered how the grave was solemn and understated. Just a few stones with a few names engraved into it.

L's. The same written in the Death Note.

Whammy's name just above; Matt, and Mello's names just below.

You're fingers tensed as you settled in front of the grave. You're heart was racing and tears weld quickly, but you moved to place the flowers carefully to the ground. The ritual seeming to already be in your bones and moving you as if on instinct. 

You gently come to your knees and place down the bouquet, momentarily adjusting the petals so each flower is placed perfectly. Sitting back, you take in the form your lover now takes. A monolith to last eternity with an ever decaying offering of remembrance.

Soon your name would join them, forever watching the fog in the distance. Forever together trapped surrounded by grief.

To have forms that last so short is a tragedy when your heart aches for the touch of humanity. But you're voice spoken into the wind, dancing in the same air as the fog is enough to purge the reservoir of sorrow. 

Your tears fall through the same atmospheric water droplets for a moment, and the stone is splattered with water. Rain may fall later and dilute your sadness with its overwhelming gloom but for now, it was another physical offering of emotion. A tangible message out into the world.

You promised to return again and again, apologized for not moving past the Kira case for months until now. You promised to dream past him, live a happy life beyond the injustice of his death's circumstances. You promised to always remember him, but find more joy in the life you could continue to live beyond him.

They were words spoken in soft shouts, like a couple arguing over the phone, the voice on the other line never conceivable. The emotions were painfully honest and you hoped somewhere in the fog L was listening to, feeling what you were saying.

On occasion you began to shake, twisted you head in anger, but it was all past now and you'd defeatedly relax your shoulders and collapse; sniffling and sobbing into your knees. It had all been said before, it would likely come up again, but now you'd promise to find new purpose in your life.

You began to calm, and sat in silence for another while. Watching the fog in the distance. It danced in the trees in the direction of a ringing church bell, whistled between leaves and back down to wrap around the grave. Dissipating again, you admired the stone work engraving L's name, and are swiftly drawn back to the fog that escapes into red rose bushes across the cemetery wall.

The air falls quiet, and you shut your eyes in true reverence. 

You would be back in 5 days with Near for another conversation about how much the man meant to you're life, but this moment alone was cherished from the second you laid down the flowers.

Once the air felt lighter, you stood and said a silent good bye before returning back down the path you came. 

The clouds never went away that day, in fact it began to rain in the early evening, but rainbows could be found peaking through the clouds in the sky the next morning, the birds returning to sing faintly beyond the window.

Author's Note: Sorry for the late final chapter and chapter with no sex. Rough to end the NSFW alphabet but, I hope 3 smut chapters for stamina can make up for an ending with just intimacy, not physical but emotional. Its not something I usually write, but I hope you enjoyed reading anyways.