Sixteen

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Tinashe.

I have had a week thinking time. It's time to tell Chris, I can't be a pussy, I need to find that strength in me again. It's like prison has took my power away from me. I don't want to go back to being the argumentative me, but it doesn't mean I have to be a stereotypical sweet girl.

My new last official plan. I'll tell Chris I can't have kids, he might get mad or upset because I never told him. Then once I get out of this bitch I'm going to get my life in order. For myself and to make my crew proud and happy. All my life I have had a hard personality. I don't like getting hurt. I fight against it. My Dad left me at a young age because my mum was a pain in the ass. She never cheated she was just argumentive, like me, I have turned into her. Chris will leave me one day, why would he want to put up with me forever? I'm surprised he made it five years.

My mum lives in a different state. She had no reason to stay here, when I turned twenty one and I became more of pain she didn't  want to stick around. I don't let that stuff get to me anymore. Chris has never hurt me that's why I let my guard down to him and the crew. However, I will always have that hard figure, I can't change me and become this sweet innocence girl that I'm clearly not.

Once I get out of here. I'm still going to be me. Just a more chilled person unless someone pushes their limits too much. If I was a man and I got into fights it wouldn't be that big of a deal, because I'm a girl people assume I should always keep my mouth shut. On some level I should just let stuff go and not argue over everything, I know that but I can't fix all my flaws.

Breezy.

"I got the job." I spoke happily down the phone to Jhene.

"Congratulations! I told you would! This cause's for a celebration right?" She excitedly answered back.

"Yes it does. I got to see Tinashe in a half a hour so will do it later tonight?" I asked her as I got into my car.

"Yeah. I got to go Mia is asking for me, ring me later will make some plans." Jhene spoke quickly.

"Mia? Why isn't she bugging Trey?" I asked in confusion as I started up my car.

"They broke up. She's annoying and stressing me out, can I meet you now." She groaned.

"You can if you want, you can come see T with me? Make sure you two are real cool before she comes out." I suggested, driving off.

"Uh if you're sure, maybe you should just be with her-

"I'm coming to yours now. Bye Jhene." I spoke hanging up the phone as I was driving.

I had a interview for a job today which I unexpectedly got, I wasn't expecting that at all. I didn't do great at school and I haven't got much job history. But I managed to do it. It's a building houses job. Nothing too amazing but it pays well.

I pulled up to Jhene's, I beeped my car horn multiple times until she came outside. She jumped into the passenger side then placed her seat belt on.

"So what happened with Mia and Trey?" I asked as I pulled off heading to tree Tinashe.

"They just not been getting on recently. Mia thinks Trey was just using her for sex. Clearly it wasn't though because Trey could just get anyone." Jhene rambled.

"Trey can get anyone aye?" I chuckled. "What about you. You think Trey fine?"

"He dated my sister. You can't date your family or friend's ex's, that's just period don't be a hoe rules. Also, never get with someone who already has a man. That's just simple, you looking for trouble if you do any of those." Jhene spoke the truth.

"Preach that shit." I laughed agreeing with what she's saying.

After a moment of comfortable silence we finally arrived. We both got out the car, I locked it up after.

"I hope she don't mind. Maybe I shouldn't have came. You want me to sit in the car-"

"Stop sweating over it. You two have got to be friends someday. You be able to see the change in T. I think things are gonna get better between me and her once she's out." I spoke from my heart.

"I hope. You two seemed good for each other's, from what I have seen."

"She a real one. I love that girl, man. Don't make me get into my feelings, shit." I chuckled.

Tinashe just been the one since day one. My first love and hopefully my last, I just don't want nothing to screw it up.

Tinashe.

I frowned my eyebrows in confusion when I saw Chris walk in with Jhene by his side. Is this the way off him telling me his moved on? He didn't show up once because he was with her now he brings her here? How am I supposed to tell him now.

"Hey baby." Chris greeted me as he sat down.

"Hey Tinashe, I hope you don't mind I came." Jhene spoke shyly.

"Of course not." I lied as I faked a smile.

I like Jhene. We don't click together, we are totally the opposite but I don't have a problem with her. But Chris could of at least brought my niggas along I miss Trey and Tyga.

"Less than three months until you're out. Must be exciting." Jhene said as she tried to make conversation.

"Yeah." I spoke, not knowing what else to say.

"Uh, T. I got a new job today." Chris announced.

"What's wrong with your old job?" I asked.

I understand drug dealing isn't the best jobs, I'm going to stop when I get out, I hope.

"It's illegal." He spoke lowly.

"When did you ever give two fucks about the law?" I chuckled slightly to try and cheer up the awkward atmosphere.

"T, I don't want to argue-

"I'm not arguing Chris. Just asking." I smiled, another fake one.

Chris sighed as he lent back in his chair looking like his giving up. Does everyone think you just change? I have been stuck in the same place for months. Of course I'm going to be stressed.

"Chris. That's great baby." I sighed, not wanting to argue with him either.

It's great his moving on without me even trying to make him do it. New job next a new girl.

"Thanks babe, when you get out maybe I could help you get a new job." Chris suggested.

A new job. A new me. Why everyone trying to change me? I'm only changing myself a bit for myself and the people around me. I'm not changing because people want me too. You have to do stuff for yourself. I need to learn to love myself again before I can love to fullest. Chris deserve the best love. I can't do that at this practically moment because sometimes I don't even love myself.

I'm not going to say how I'm feeling because I just want to enjoy these few minutes I have with Chris. Seeing Chris for a bit is the best part about the whole week.

______________________

1) Hate, Dislike, Like or Love Tinashe? Everyone has mix emotions about her.

2) You think Chris shouldn't of brought Jhene along with him?

3) You think Trey & Mia should get back together?

VOTE & COMMENT PLEASE!!

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