Someone Else

Forty One

Tinashe.

"So, I was thinking I get a job, save up some money and go back to college?" I told my ideas to Jhene.

She looked at me across from the dining room table, we are currently eating some breakfast together before she goes to work.

"Really? You want to go to college?" Jhene asked in surprise.

I didn't want to go to college. However, it's hard for me to get a good job with my record. Maybe if I went back to college it might help me be able to get a well paid job.

"Yes, I really do. What do you think?" I questioned, wanting to know her thoughts on this.

"It's your life, your happiness. What ever you decide to do you know your friends are always going to be behind you."

She's right, it's my decision. My life and I need to take full control of it.

I smiled. "Thank you, Jhene, for everything."

"Stop it! You go do whatever you need to do, I need to get ready for work." She told me.

Jhene walked off leaving me alone. I'm planning to actual go to work places today, talk to them in person about me getting a job with them. Maybe I can win them over with some charm, if I even have any of that. Either way, I can't take no for an answer. I need a job, I can't keep living off everyone else forever and going back to the streets? That is hundred percent not an option.

>>>

I skipped out of my car, rushing to the front door. I hope Jhene is home because I have got the best news. However, my smile slowly vanished when I saw Chris standing there, looking at me. I don't want to see him.

I don't want to see him because it just hurts so much. Everyone knows I want Chris to be happy, I honestly do. It just hurts when you can't love the person your heart is with.  I thought over time my love will go away, but all it took was for me to hear his voice, or me to look into his eyes, or even be some where near his presence to make every feelings I have for him to come back, stronger than ever.

"Chris?" I asked in shock.

"T, Tinashe. I just wanted to make sure you was alright." His raspy voice spoke.

Why does he do this to me? I love the fact he still cares about me. However, cheating has never been our type of thing. I don't want his girlfriend to think we are up to no good, nor do I want her to think she has competition. Everyone always assumes if the ex's are talking, something is going on.

"I'm great thanks, you?" I kept it simple, I couldn't help but ask how he was though, I still care about him.

"I've been good. What was you smiling about?" He questioned my actions from earlier.

I unlocked the front door, walking in a bit. I lend against the door, looking out to him. I didn't want to be rude, but I didn't want to invite him in. I can't spend time with him without wanting to touch him or kiss him again.

"Oh, I just got myself two job interviews for tomorrow." I happily told him.

"Really? Damn, that's so good! Well done ba- Tinashe." He congratulated me.

"Yeah, well, I just need to shower and put some dinner on, so I will see you later." I hinted for him to leave.

I want us to be comfortable and not awkward together but I don't want him to get too comfortable. I don't want him to forget we aren't together, he needs to remember his got a girl who wouldn't appreciate him nearly calling me babe. This is what my brain is telling me, my heart is saying shit let him in!

"Yeah, sure, I get it. Just wanted to make sure you good as I didn't really get to talk to you the other night." Chris explained.

I couldn't help but let a little smile slip out. "I'm good, I promise."

"How was rehab though?" He questioned.

Rehab gave me a reality check. Got my thoughts and everything straight. It done me real good.

"It helped me, a lot. It took me to my darkest place then brought me out to the light." I expressed.

"I should of let you go sooner, when you wanted to go in the first place. I just wanted to be the person to help you, I didn't want you to go, I'm sorry."

Chris is just pulling on my heart. It's starting to feel like we both thinking the same thing. We know we shouldn't be talking but we don't want each other to go. Of course I know Chris' feelings are still there for me, it's so clear from his eyes and his body language, I know him too well. But we both need to get over our feelings and us being together right now, isn't helping.

"Chris, it's all in the past now. I never put you for blame for anything, if it wasn't for you who knew what would of happened to me. You saved me so many times, just the last time, I needed to save myself." I explained to him.

"Yeah." He mumbled. "I will go now, see you around, T."

I really wanted to hug him right now. I know we both crying in the inside.

"See you around."

I watched as he left, shortly closing the door afterwards.

I feel like we needed that talk. We rarely expressed ourselves before to each other. That's what we needed, I'm glad we finally done it now so we can stop blaming each other for the mistakes, we can move on.

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UPDATED! Shit, things are about to come to an end soon!

1) You think Tinashe should go back to college?

2) What you think about Chris' and Tinashe's talk?

3) You want them back together or is it good where they left it?

4) How do you think it will end? How do you want it to end?