Someone Else

Twenty Six

Tinashe.

"Fuck it." I need to be strong.

It's not that good I convinced myself. I threw the blunt in the trash. I picked up the bag, wrapping it around them taking it outside. I need it out of the house. I hate Tyga for making me feel this weak and in need. Is this really how recovering feels like? I thought you're suppose to feel happy and free. I just feel like I'm fake. Pretending to be happy, just trying to make everyone else proud. Maybe this is how my mom felt, trying to do right for her family, but she was suffering underneath.

"Babe? Are you okay?" Chris ran out of his car towards me.

"Yeah I'm great why?" I asked in confusion. "Why are you home already?"

"Why are crying? You never cry... Tell me what's wrong baby." Chris pulled me into a warm hug.

I touched my face to feel wet marks. Maybe I'm not that good at pretending anymore.

"Nothing, I don't know-

"You must know why you're crying." Chris protested.

Honestly I didn't really. It must be the pressure of growing up, getting a job, trying to make Chris and my friends happy, trying to fight temptation. I'm just keep trying to be a better, but this 'better person' isn't happy. I feel so selfish. Chris is doing everything for me, I'm just trying to repay him but being the girlfriend he needs. I just feel like I'm failing. My emotions and thoughts have been everywhere for so long.

"Aight, don't tell me. Just stop crying because I don't know what to do, I'm not used to this from you." Chris softly spoke.

"Sorry." I sniffed.

"Nah baby. Let's just cuddle and watch a movie of some shit?" Chris requested.

I smiled against his chest, I really don't deserve him. I let go off him then followed him back into the house.

"Order some food and find a movie to watch while I go and have a quick wash." Chris told me.

I agreed with a nod. I whipped away my tears, took some breaths so my breathing could go back to normal. I kept repeating the words "you need to be strong".

I ordered some food and picked put on the movie 'The Vow' I can't remember the last time I watched a romantic film, it's usually horrors or comedy.

"We all good?" Chris came into the living room with just shorts on.

"I am now." I winked flirty.

"Oo, you like this?" Chris flaunted his abs jokingly.

We laughed together before he came and took a seat next to me, I wrapped myself up in his arms. This is when I feel strong and comfortable, I'm not worried about temptation. It's when I'm alone, in my thoughts is when I want drugs the most. It was just part of my old life routine.

Thinking back to earlier that is real different for me to cry. If I feel emotional I usually just get mad and argue instead of crying. That's why when my mom left me, if someone asked about it I would get mad. On the topic of my mom, when in was inside I was thinking about going out to visit her. I have waited years for her to come to me, maybe I should just be the stronger one and go see her. Her friend lives not far from me, I know she knows where my mom is, I could ask her.

"Chris." I murmured.

I need Chris' thought on this.

"Yeah babe?" He mumbled.

"I was thinking about seeing my mom." I told him straight.

I turned his face to look at me, we shared eye contact for a bit before he spoke.

"Really?" He asked surprised

I'm surprised too, my stubborn self is not waiting on her.

"Yeah... She went through what I went through, maybe I could ask her how she got better? She could help me." I told him my thoughts.

"You doing good though... But yeah it's been ages go see her." He agreed.

'You doing good' if only he knew I was seconds away from smoking that blunt today. He got home early today as well he could of walked in to see my smoking. I'm not as strong as everyone thinks. I used to think I was strong, I guess it was just a act, a cover up from getting hurt. I can't be the only one who fears getting hurt mentally.

"Baby-

I went to tell him about early but went against it. I didn't want to say Tyga's name, and I didn't want him to worry that I'm going to fall back into the trap. It's best I just keep this once on a low.

"I'm going to ring the pizza place, it's been over forty minutes." I saved.

Trigga Songz.

"Yo, what you doing! If they catch you stealing you going to be a dead man!" I shouted at Tyga as I quickly stopped him from stealing some drugs from the warehouse.

"Uh, shit. Don't tell no one." Tyga begged.

"Just don't do that shit, next time it may not me who sees you." I warned him.

My phone started ringing, I looked at caller ID to see it was Lauren.

"I got to take this, I'll see you tomorrow, don't do nothing you going  to regret." I dapped Tyga then left.

I answered the phone as I made my way out to my car.

"Lauren, what's good?" I answered.

"Hey baby Triga." She replied sexually.

"I ain't no baby, you seen what I'm working with." I flirted.

Everyone thinks I been fucking around but really I been spending a lot of time with Lauren, the girl Chris hooked me up with a while back.

"Oh, I have seen it big Daddy." She giggled.

"It aight if I come thru? A nigga been missing your big ass."

"Sure... I be waiting."

With that I hung up, changing lanes I started speeding to Lauren's house. I'm about to get it.

_______________________

1) You shocked Tinashe threw it away?

2) You think Tinashe's mom will make T better or change her mind about stuff? You think Tinashe's mom is doing as good as everyone thinks?

3) You think Tyga was stealing drugs for himself? What you think is up with him?

4) You trust Lauren? Any thoughts on her?

Vote & comment please... If you don't know already my older stories aren't the longest, so I'm kinda changing that with my new stories. I'm going to try and make longer books, this book is included in that. I don't know how many chapters this book will have, all I know it isn't ending yet. I still have more drama left for it;)