Tinashe.
"She used to live here, about a year ago." He informed me.
"Oh, sorry her friend just told me she lives here..." I drifted off as I thought. "Do you possible know where she lives now?"
He sighed, giving me a sympathy smile... Why do I feel his about to give me had news?
"I'm sorry - who are you to her?" He asked me.
"I'm here daughter. I haven't seen or heard from her in a while."
It's been longer than a while, me and mom haven't spoken in years. I didn't even notice it was for that long. I can't believe that. Why did I never ring or even text her?
"In sorry to say this, but what from what I heard, she died." He told me softly.
I don't know if it's from feeling weak recently but I couldn't control any emotions as I cried my eyes out in front of a unknown stranger. I can't believe I wasted moments with my mom because I was too busy doing drugs, drinking and just living my young free life.
That's when the anger started building up inside me. I can't believe I let it go this far, at this point I hate myself. I didn't show my mom enough love, I was such a bad daughter.
"No! She can't be! Fuck you Tinashe!" I shouted myself.
I started kicking against the wall, throwing some punches too, making my knuckles bleed instantly. The pain was no where near as bad as how my heart is feeling. Why did I let it go this far? Both of our stubborn asses. But it's not her fault, she was focusing on herself, so was I but in a different way. She was getting better while I was getting worse. I know this isn't the right time but all I could think of is drugs.
"I'm sorry." The male spoke softly.
Breezy.
"Where your sister been at?" I asked Jhene.
She ended up coming around the next day, just to spend time with me as we don't get to see each other much anymore.
"I don't know really, she been spending time with two boys, she thinks she's in love with them both. I'm not getting involved in her relationship." She sighed.
"You need to put your sister in check."
"I have tried, but she don't listen. So, I just stopped, I don't want to become to dislike my own sister."
I nodded and carried on flicking through the music channels, we where just chilling at my place. I been waiting on Tinashe to reply to me, I texted her a few hours ago asking about how things went with her mom. Hopefully the reason why she isn't replying to me is because she's catching up with her mom. However, I can't help but think something went wrong. I should of just went with her, despite her saying no.
I picked up my phone, ringing her once more. It just went strings to voicemail. I'm just praying everything is fine.
"She still not answering?" Jhene asked me softly.
"No." I replied worryingly.
"She will." Jhene promised me, but she doesn't know.
Tinashe.
Just one call to Tyga and I'm sorted with what I need, the pain can go away for a bit. It'd okay to slip up once right? I just don't think I'm strong enough to go through this. I'm not good with having other people help me through stuff. I know Chris cares about me a lot, and he would try extremely hard to make me happy, he does make me happy. But with things like this, I find it hard to let people comfort me. I just try and forget, but this is too big to forget.
I just whipped away my tears quickly as I got onto the train, going back home. Five hour travelling on trains and uber until I get home. I could easily smoke a joint, then sleep in my bed after. Just let the pain go away for a while, until reality comes back.
I deiced I would check my phone, I was bored and have a lot of time to waste. I had five miss calls and two messages from Chris, I hope his okay. I was going to ring him but he could probably tell but my voice I wasn't ok, I didn't want him to know I was sad, so I texted him instead.
Hey sorry I didn't reply, just letting you know I'm okay and on my way home. I love you. - Tinashe, 3. 31pm.
It didn't take long for a reply, he replied in seconds. He really was worrying about me, which made me feel guilty. I didn't even think about checking my phone earlier, I was too busy taking in my mom sistuation. Which I'm still extremely sad and angry at myself about.
Thank god. You had a nigga worrying forreal. I love you, get home safe. - Chris, 3.31pm.
I honestly love Chris with everything. I don't know if this is because my mom is gone but it's making me think about Chris leaving me. I think if that happened any strength I had left would go. Chris is the one keeping me go, if he gave up, I would have no chance. Not giving up in the relationship but him giving up on me all together. If Chris said he didn't want to be with me no more, I would let him walk away. I would do that because I know I'm hard work, I'm a pain. I just want him to be happy, so I would let him leave me to be happy with someone else. As long as he stays being a friend to me, because if he gave up all together, I would have no hope in myself.
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Short chapter sorry, but a really quick update! I hope you still enjoyed it! Also, didn't proof read.1) You think Tinashe will give up soon?
2) You think Chris will give up on Tinashe?
3) How many more chapters does everyone want? I have ideas planned for at least 10 more chapters, but if you want more than that I know I can think of more. I have been really been enjoying writing for this book, I'm just making sure everyone is still enjoying reading this. (There won't be a sequel btw)
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Someone Else
FanfictionKeep telling me to find someone else. Someone better. Someone who's going to treat me right. "All I ever wanted was you, my badass bitch from the hood. You're my first love and I always will love you. But I'm ready to have a family, you too busy run...