I Want to Forget

Chapter 13

Kobe.....?   What was he doing here?   I thought he was happily living in Michigan?   Who cares!  I don't like him anymore, so I shouldn't even care.   But for some odd reason I do care.   I care so much that he is here.   My heart pounded.....I haven't felt like this since I saw Kobe.   Was I getting feelings for him again?  No!  Of course not!   I like Eric!

"Paris?" A voice asks.

"Paris!" The voice exclaims.  I snap out of my daze.

"What!" I snap.   The voice was Lina.

"Are you staring at Kobe?" She asks.

"No!"I exclaim a little too quickly.

"Then why were you in a daze?" Kailah asks suspiciously.

"I....uh I was thinking about Eric," I lie.   Kailah rolls her eyes, clearly not buying my little fib.

"Go talk to him," Keeley dares.

"No, I don't want to."

"I know you do, it wouldn't hurt to say hi."

"But I don't like him anymore."

"Just because you talk to him, doesn't mean you like him,"Keeley tells me.  

".....Yeah...I guess I should talk to him," I sigh, giving in.   I look at Samantha, who was giving me a look.   She was hoping I would break the pact.

"You want me to introduce you to him, Tiffany?" I ask.

"No, I'm fine," she replies curtly.   I shrug, knowing she definitely wanted to come.

"Anyone else want to come?" I ask,"Ashlynn?"

"No, I will go later," she replies.  My friends really wanted me to go to him myself.  I sigh and drag my feet over to the extremely handsome Kobe.    He was talking with his old friends, John, Bryce, Blake, Jake, Carson, Toby, and Jack.   I take a deep breath.   I begin to walk over there.....but I couldn't do it.  Here come my feelings.  All the reasons I like him.....come rushing back to my heart.  Why did I feel this way?   I like Eric!   Not Kobe!   Kobe deserted me!  I back away, letting my fears and feelings get the best of me.   I wasn't ready to see him again.  I wasn't ready for more pain.  I walk back to my friends who were giving me confused looks.

"What happened?" Summer asks confused.

"I can't see him again.....it is too painful...."I reply defeated.

"I'm really sorry Paris......but you have to say something....maybe not now but certainly soon."

"I know....."   I walk away from my friends, wanting to be alone.  I sit on the swing set.   I remember this swing set.  Summer, Lina and I would always spend our lunch recess on the swings in 5th grade.  It was simpler then.   I didn't like anyone, school was easy, and there wasn't much drama.  Basically once I hit 6th grade everything changed.   When I met Toby my whole perspective on life changed.  Everything was different, nothing was simple anymore.   Looking back, I wish nothing had changed.   The perfect world I had created back then fell apart pretty much once I left Rio Grande.   I thought everyone from Rio Grande would stay together.   I didn't  think Kobe would move, but I was so wrong.  Half of my friends went to a different school.   To be honest, 8th grade year was the best year of my life, and I wish I could go back.  Nothing was simple that year, but I miss the complications of hiding my secret crush, or deciding what I am going to wear to impress him.  I miss hanging with my friends in Sacremento or doing  the drama production.  I miss the indoor hallways and pool.   Now I am in high school, the "supposedly" best 4 years of my life.   In reality, I think nothing can top my 8th grade year.   A single tear runs down my cheek, then someone wipes it away.  I look up at the mysterious person, who was joining me in my despair.  I was surprised to see that it was the boy that caused me so much pain.   It was Kobe.