Life in the Shadows

14.

Am I ready for this?

All the lies and stories I've made up, all of the emotions I've covered up, all the loneliness I've felt...

It's all going to be told, and I can't take any of it back or un-say it back after it's done.

I can't just go back in time, fix every problem, and come back; pretending that none of it happened.

"Maggie?" Jack's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I answer a little to quickly. "Just thinking, that's all,"

"You know," he throws his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug, "you don't have to tell us if you're uncomfortable doing it, or if you're not ready. Gilinsky, Nate, Sam, and I, you can trust us," his soothingly calm voice says into my ear.

"I do trust you," I answer back in the same tone. "I'm just scared,"

"Why are you scared?"

"I don't want special treatment, and I don't want people to act differently around me. I want things to stay the same, but after I say what's been on my mind and how I've been feeling, I know they won't be the same. I'm so fucking scared, Jack, I'm-"

"That won't happen," he cuts me off. "You'll always be treated like you are now. We just need to be able to help you; then things can start to feel somewhat normal again."

"Okay," I let out a shaky breath. "I'm ready,"

He releases me from his embrace, and sits down on the bed, next to Gilinsky, Sam, and Nate.

Taking a seat in my desk chair, spinning sightly on it, I decide it's now or never.

Now.

"So, do you remember Addison?" I ask them, and they all nod, signaling for me to continue. "I told you guys after freshmen year that she moved to Maine, but, I lied. She had became popular during that year, and her new 'friends' didn't like the idea of her and I being friends. So, to maintain her popular status with everyone, she told me that she wished she never knew me, and she never wanted to see me again."

"From the first day back from Christmas break until the end of freshmen year, she and her so-called friends tortured me every day, and every chance they got. From calling me names, like, loser and nerd, to telling people that I had slept with their boyfriends and people I didn't even know existed. It never got to physically bullying me, but they checked off every other category." I let out a humorless chuckle wiping a tear from my face.

"They made it their goal to make my life a living hell. And trust me, they stuck to their word. Freshman year was one of the worst years of my life,"

"So, she purposely did these things to you, just because she thought you weren't good enough to be her friend?" Gilinsky asks, and I nod. "What a bitch," he mutters.

"Since they were your stereotypical popular kids, they were cheerleaders, dancers, and jocks, of course, there wasn't just freshmen in those groups. Mostly sophomores, not so much juniors or seniors, were also making fun of me with them. By the end of that year, I literally had no friends. I was miserable."

"Why- why didn't you tell me? Us?" Jack asks, looking more sympathetic than disappointed.

"Because telling you or the guys wouldn't bring you home, from wherever you were touring, every time I had a problem. Plus, what would you have been able to do if you guys did come home? You guys were living your dream, I'd feel worse if I ruined that for you because I didn't have a backbone and couldn't stand up for myself,"