THE LAST MISSION

CHAPTER 36

Hindi kona nakita si Gauis matapos kong linisin ang lamesa at kusina. I went to his room to check if he was there because I closed all the doors. I knocked twice and no one answered. I even called him but no one answered. I went downstairs and checked outside. He is nowhere to be found. I sighed heavily and went to my room. I went to shower and changed clothes, hoping after this he'd be back, but I was wrong.

I have no choice but to wait for him. Naghintay ako sa sala at habang tumatagal ay inaantok na ako. Saan na ba ang isang 'yon. Hindi man lang nagpaalam. Hindi nagtagal ay hindi ko namalayan nakatulog na pala ako.

"Tanya!"

"Maylsh..."

So gentle...

But everyone is so dark...

"No! Tanya!"

It's so familiar. Gauis's angry voice, his pleading, and his desperation to get away.

Oh.

Oh...

"Yshera! Fuck! Yshera, wake up!"

I opened my eyes and panicked. I don't know why, my whole body just panicked. My heart is beating so fast. The only thing I know is that Gauis is already hugging me.

"Hey, it's okay. Everything's fine."

Hindi ko alam bakit parang nahihingal ako. I'm sweating, and I can feel tears falling down my cheeks. Nightmare. It never changes. It never left, and it still hurts like the day it happened.

"I'm sorry," I said with a weak voice. I heard him sigh and continue to stroke my hair and tap my back gently.

"Bad dream?"

"Y-yes... Bad dream..." My voice cracked.

"Why did you sleep here anyway?"

"I was waiting for you." I rested my cheek on his chest. I'm feeling sleepy again.

I just realized how much effect Gauis has on me. I just realized how much I miss his embrace, but it also hurts. I miss him, every time. But every time I look at him it hurts me. He suffers too, because of me. If only I'm worthy enough to have him, he wouldn't have to beg, to lose his eyes, to lose his memories, and to isolate himself.

How I wish I could turn back time and build a stronger wall to keep us apart. Did I regret everything? Yes. I did. Gauis was fine without me, but having him in my arms before was warm, calm, and peaceful. I'm selfish, I know. I want to keep him for myself, but I also want to keep his life like this, peaceful and no violence.

I opened my eyes, and I immediately knew I was in Gauis room, in Gauis bed, wrapped in his arms. I bit my lower lip because I was at the end of tearing up. No wonder I've got no nightmares; he was hugging me all this time. I embrace him back for a second before letting him go.

Umupo ako pero nasa bewang ko parin ang isang kamay niya. I slowly and softly took his arm and didn't make a sound getting off the bed. I watch him sleep peacefully and brush his hair softly. You're so beautiful. More beautiful than the day we separated. I kissed his forehead gently and left the room.

Bumalik ako sa kwarto ko at naghilamos. Nagluto ako ng umagahan niya at kumain narin. Isang buwan na ako dito at hindi pa ako nakakalabas ng bahay. Hindi nagtagal ay dumating na si Gauis at ang mga aso ko. Hindi ako nahirapan paamohin ang mga aso ko dahil alam kong kilala parin nila ako.

"Good morning, maylsh–"

Agad ako napatingin sa kanya at halata sa mukha niyang nagulat at pagkalito rin siya sa sinabi niya. He looks half asleep so I assume it's just a reflex. I gulped, hardly and acted foolish like I didn't know what 'maylsh' means.