Thirteen Summers

thirty-two

J O S I E

tw: self induced vomiting.

It was quiet between the two of us as we ate our ice cream.

I glanced at him, quickly looking away to the window when his eyes landed on me.

Out of all my siblings, I'd gotten to know Cameron the least.

It made sense, he was the oldest and he had the most responsibility and he had a career, and he had us to look after.

Cameron had the weight of the world on him, all while he was still young.

I guess realising that helped me to understand him more.

I'd have to try more to not be a bother.

"You'll like Mrs. Hill." Cameron broke the silence. "She helped me a great deal when I was at school, back then there wasn't as much support when it came to the mental wellbeing of students."

I nodded but his words dawned on me. "How...what did she help you with?"

Cameron wasn't looking at me, his gaze was on the world outside the window. He had one last scoop of his ice cream before he finally answered.

"Our parents...they struggled with me. I had some issues with my mental health and they already had alot on their plate with all of us but Mrs. Hill, she was there for me."

My eyebrows lifted in surprise at this revelation.

Cameron's struggled with his mental health? I wonder what happened.

"Are...are you okay?" I whispered, worriedly.

"Of course, it was a long time ago. I was a kid back then, a lot has changed since." He reassured me, a gentle smile gracing his lips.

"Oh, okay...that's good." I felt terrible because I felt like I should be saying more.

I just didn't know what it was that I should be saying.

"That will never be the case for you guys." Cameron stated, firmly. "You ever find yourself in that position, Josie. When it seems like there's no way to escape, nothing to hold on to, you come to me. You go to Rome."

He pointed at himself. "You go to any one of our siblings, I don't even want it to get to that point, I don't want you to ever feel that low. You come to us, you hear me?"

I nodded, "I will."

Still, I would try my best not to cause any more problems for him.

I knew how to handle myself, I'd like to think I'd be able to stop it from getting that far without any help.

"These last five months have been tough for you with Mom's death, I know that." Cameron then mentioned.

I looked down at my melting ice cream.

"That incident yesterday should've never happened. How are you feeling?"

My cheeks heated up and I kept my eyes on the ice cream as I replied. "Uh, I'm okay. I just... I don't really like that teacher."

"Don't worry about him, he's gone now."

"Really? Why?"

"The school decided that he wasn't fit to teach there after some investigation they'd been doing."

"Oh, wow." I mumbled, relief filled me. "Thank God."

"Did you feel that the counselling helped? I was wondering if you might want to continue with Olive."