Thirteen Summers

forty-six

THIRTEEN SUMMERS

Josie's foot tapped anxiously against the waiting room floor, her gaze unfocused, eyes darting to the clock on the wall.

She chewed on some gum, like Roman had told her to do in times of anxiety but it didn't do much to help.

She hated being here. Hated the sterile smell of antiseptic that seemed to linger in her nose no matter how many times she breathed in and out, hated the feeling of being watched, scrutinized.

And most of all, she hated that Roman wasn't here.

Roman was supposed to be back yesterday. He was supposed to be here with them. Instead, he was stuck in Egypt because of some unforeseen issues with the weather, which meant he couldn't travel.

She just wished he was here to make her feel less alone.

Roman had always known how to make things better, how to make her feel like everything would be okay.

He'd been her constant, even though they didn't grow up in the same house. She needed him now.

But Roman wasn't here. Just Cameron.

Cameron, her oldest brother, was sitting beside her in the waiting room, trying to be comforting in his own way. His dark eyes were tense, brows furrowed in thought.

She knew what he was thinking, that this appointment was important, that they needed to do this, that it was about getting answers. But right now, it didn't feel important.

It just felt like another thing she had to endure.

"Josie?" Cameron's voice cut through her haze. "It's time."

She nodded but didn't speak. Her throat felt tight, as though any words she tried to say would come out wrong.

The psychiatrist's office was dim, with a soft, almost comforting light filtering through the blinds. Josie sank into the chair beside Cameron, feeling the weight of his presence next to her, but it didn't ease the tightness in her chest.

She glanced around the room, her eyes landing on the toys, and colorful charts on the wall, a strange mixture of childish and clinical.

The psychiatrist, Dr. Hayes, was an older woman with kind eyes and soft features. She gave Josie a reassuring smile, but it didn't reach her.

Josie barely returned it, her thoughts still a jumbled mess, half on the appointment and half on the empty space that Roman should have filled.

Dr. Hayes sat across from them, glancing down at a clipboard with Josie's information. "We'll just take it slow today, Josie. I'm sure you're feeling a little nervous. It's okay to take your time."

Josie nodded again, staring at her lap, her fingers twisted together in her lap like they always were when she was anxious.

The two adults in the room conversed about everything, from her childhood, to her schooling, to her eating habits.

A lot of the things to do with her childhood came from information given to him by Ella, written school reports and such.

Cameron spoke up, his voice steady but laced with a quiet tension. "Josie... she's had some difficulties with changes in routine. She's very particular about what she eats-her food choices are really limited. She'll stick to the same meals over and over, and if something changes, she won't eat it."

Dr. Hayes scribbled something on her notepad. "I see, and have you noticed any other behaviors that might be concerning?"

Cameron shifted in his chair, glancing at Josie before continuing. "She has some sensory issues. Loud noises, bright lights, certain textures. It can overwhelm her. We went on vacation this summer, we had this pool at our villa, and the pattern on the floor of the pool set her off. She couldn't go near the water after that."