Sterek One Shots (boyxboy)

Give 'em the 'ol Razzle Dazzle

Give 'em the 'ol Razzle Dazzle by DorianWilde

"I cannot believe we're doing this again." Stiles banged his head against the dashboard of his car for emphasis. Seriously, he'd been home from his five months post graduation trip to Europe for three days, when Deaton called to ask him/demand a favor. "I should have stayed in Denmark. They have red sausages there," Stiles muttered, sulking.

Derek gave him an unimpressed look.

Then again, unimpressed was Derek's default state. Other expressions were frowning, glaring, manpain, smirking and smiling. The smiling was divided into four categories: Bitter smile, happy smile, amused smile, and insincere 100kw do-as-I-tell-you-while-I-dazzle-you smile.

If Stiles had charts no-one had to know.

"I'll distract him while-" Derek began and Stiles almost felt nostalgic.

"Dude, no. We're stealing a safe. While I am flattered you think I'm able to lift a 200 pound safe and smoothly sneak out, I'm afraid my muscles are not quite up to the task of being more than eye candy in this case."

Amused smile. "Right." (Stiles decided to take that as Derek agreeing to Stiles' muscles being eye candy.)

"Don't worry, I've got sweet moves." Stiles grinned at him. "Come along Pond!" he cheerfully called out as he slammed the car door behind him.

-'-'-

Stiles had the perfect plan. He'd planned the plan like a freaking plan master, okay? He knew deputy Parrish was on duty, which was good as he did not really know Stiles yet (not like the other deputies who had known Stiles from when he was a devious child to when he became a sneaky teenager who 'accidentally' stumbled over crime scenes and who's friend always seemed to find dead bodies.)

As he knew for a fact his dad, and most of his deputies, had been called away to help out at a car crash site where several cars and a truck had been involved, deputy Parrish would most likely be alone.

Stiles was going to saunter in, all Mr Confidence, and ask for his dad. Obviously his dad wouldn't be there. Stiles would then flaunt the fantabulous flirting techniques he'd picked up in France (Bonjour, j'adore tes fromage. Tu t'appelle Jean Claude? Je suis le petit chaperon rouge) while Derek sneaked in and stole the safe from the evidence room.

No problem.

Stiles sauntered - stumbled - up to Parrish's desk, gave him the Stiles-version of the 100kw insincere do-as-I-tell-you-while-I-dazzle-you smile (when he'd practiced it in the mirror he'd looked like a cross between overexcited Tenth Doctor and Isaac on a scarves sale.)

"Hiya, can I have a quick word with the Sheriff?"

"Sorry, he's been called away." Parrish smiled back, gently tapping his pen against the tabletop.

"Bummer." Stiles made a face before plastering the smile back on. "I wanted to see if he'd have time to have dinner with me." He raised the bag containing two (secretly empty) boxes. Master Planners 'r' us.

"That's nice of you, Stiles."

Stiles shrugged. "I'm a nice guy." His cheeks were beginning to cramp from smiling and his soul was beginning to shrivel from all the politeness. He made a show of looking around. "Seems pretty empty here, they went on adventure and left you here all by your lonesome?" Stiles teased.

"Yup." Parrish did a joking sad face.

"Sucks to be you, I guess." Stiles finally tuned down his smile. "Lucky you I showed up, huh?" he winked, making Parrish laugh.