Sterek One Shots (boyxboy)

Go On Without Me!!!!

Go On Without Me!!!! (Or the one where Stiles is cursed by witches and overreacts to everything) by day
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"What happened this time." Derek sighs, holding the phone a safe distance from his ear to avoid Stiles' incessant shrieking.

"It's Scott!" Stiles wails, "He dragged me out into the woods, I don't know why I followed him, Derek, I really, really don't know why, and there were witches, and they attacked us. And Scott is bleeding and he's going to die and I don't know what to do, Derek! Plus, they- they cursed me. I'm cursed."

Derek stiffens, "I'll be right over. Press something over Scott's wound, staunch the bleeding."

"Derek, dude, please, you gotta get here fast. He's gonna die. I don't wanna lose my best friend, man, I can't." Stiles cries. Derek growls something along the lines of 'Scott's too stupid to die' and he rushes to Stiles' house, half shifted and ready to protect his pack from-

"What the actual fuck." Derek blurts, taking in the scene in front of him.

Scott has a scratch on his knee that's already healing and he's trying to fight Stiles' off who has a towel in his hand and screeching that he needs 'urgent medical attention, call your mom, you can't die on me' and Scott is wheezing on the ground, laughing so hard he's turning red and his there are actual tears pouring down his face.

"Derek-" Scott wheezes, outstretching a shaky hand, "Oh, my god. Derek, they cursed him--"

"Stiles, I. What. Just- what." Derek has no idea whats going on.

Stiles looks like he's about to cry, trying to force Scott into submission and flailing around like someone's actually dying.

"Fuck." Scott chokes on a laugh and starts hacking, trying to clear his throat, breathe, and laugh at the same time. Stiles immediately begins floundering again, face crazed with panic as he grips Scott from behind and starts doing a piss poor attempt of the Heimlich maneuver.

"Derek, he's choking!" Stiles screeches, pumping furiously at Scott's diaphragm. Scott, who still hasn't reigned in his laughter, is too weak to bat away Stiles' arms. He's turning blue now, laughing so hard that Derek actually begins to worry that maybe he is dying.

"They cursed him." Scott manages to gasp out, struggling to get out of Stiles' grip while trying to breathe again. "So that he dramatically overreacts to everything, and I- I can't-" He curls in on himself, laughing so hard that he stiffens up and clenches every muscle in his body.

Derek is staring in shock. Isaac walks into the room, wiping his face and grinning so big that it looks like it hurts. "I almost shit myself watching them, seriously, can't we just leave him like this? It's so much fun."

"How long has he been like this?" Derek asks, placing his face in his palms as Stiles cries over Scott's shaking form.

"An hour." Isaac breathes, face red.

Derek is about to grab Stiles when Erica silently walks in, touching Stiles' shoulder.

Stiles shoots from the ground screaming, jumping up and down and clutching at his chest, eyes wide and face contorted in a way that it almost seems fake.

Erica herself startles before joining Scott on the ground, screaming in laughter while Stiles leans against the wall, breathing hard, "You scared me!" He wipes the sweat from his brow, and tries to control his breathing.

Scott, whom Derek is really questioning why the two are even friends, has started coughing on his spit again. Stiles shrieks and runs over, settling for CPR this time. If Scott was human, Stiles would have broken his ribs by now. Scott still hasn't stopped laughing and Stiles is still furiously trying to grab Scott's face and breathe into his mouth.