Sterek One Shots (boyxboy)

Acqauintences Like Us

Acquaintances Like Us by Sushi Chi

"I just want to bang him." Stiles said, flopping down on the sofa with an orange in his hand.

"Ew." Peter replied, not looking up from his magazine.

"Did you just 'ew' me?" Stiles asked, shocked.

"Shush." Peter said, flipping the page.

"Did you just 'shush' me?" Stiles' mouth was open.

Peter cleared his throat, "Is He More Than Just a Friend? Question one," ignoring Stiles groan, he continued, "When he's with his friends and see's you, he: a) Always runs over and says hi and see how you are; b) Nods to you, but continues his convo; or c) Barely looks up."

Stiles started to try and peel his orange, "He barely looks up."

Peter nodded, "Question two. You have been friends for: a) So long you can't remember how you met;" Stiles snorted at this, "b) A couple weeks - you're still getting to know each other; or c) A few months, ever since that school trip you went on together."

Stiles frowned, "None of them. I mean, I've known him a few months but there was no school trip."

Peter made a thoughtful noise, "We'll claim that you guys killing me was a school trip."

"We were trying to defeat you that one time at the school. Where you almost killed Derek." Stiles added.

"True." Peter smiled and grabbed the orange out of Stiles' hands because he was clearly having trouble peeling it. "Question three. What's the last compliment he gave you? a) 'Nice outfit!'" Peter frowned, "That had an explanation mark. He doesn't use those."

"Yes he does." Stiles said, "In fact, he's used one when describing my clothes which apparently is very New York's homeless looking."

"b) 'You're so cool.'; or c) 'Thanks for giving me a ride'." Peter finished.

"He wouldn't say I'm cool." Stiles said, "And for all the times I've driven him around he never thanked me."

Peter shrugged, "But that is the most likely thing he'd say. We're going with option c." Clearing his throat, he said, "Your result is that you are Close Acquaintances." He handed the orange back.

"Fuck that." Stiles said, biting down on the fruit, "We are more than that. That quiz is a liar."

"You can't fool teen magazine quizzes, Stiles." Peter said, "Do you want to know what Celebrity Fragrance is For You?"

"No." Stiles said, "Derek freaks out whenever I change stuff like that."

Peter nodded, "Smell is very important."

"No shit." Stiles said, finishing his orange. "How can I get into his pants? And like, also, a relationship? I don't just want him for his body."

"We should research." Peter said, looking up from his magazine, "We'll watch Twilight and take notes."

Stiles choked out a laugh, "Research is our thing."

.

"Hey dad," Stiles said, leaning against the counter, "I've got a friend coming over later, we're going to watch a bad movie and make fun of it. Also get tips on how to woo people."

"Sounds like a good idea. Learning how to woo via bad movie." John said dryly. "I'll be here until nine, but you and your friend aren't going to stay up late or go and search for a dead body." He raised an eyebrow to make his point.

Stiles laughed nervously, "Oh, we'd more likely go out and create our own dead," he paused, "body?" He sounded unsure of himself.

John sighed and after giving Stiles a blank look, he walked away.