Sterek One Shots (boyxboy)

Entrapment

Entrapment by Saucery

First, it's the kanima.

Stiles and Derek end up in a pool together. For two hours. Which is pneumonia-inducing and also annoying, because Stiles actually enjoys conversation and Derek's thorny silence doesn't exactly make for the best entertainment for two hours. So Stiles talks about anything and everything until they're out, including his long-standing crush on Lydia, which just makes Derek's silence thornier, because Derek is a heartless bastard incapable of comprehending Lydia's beauty. Even if she can be cold-blooded, sometimes. Cold-blooded and beautiful. Like an ice princess.

And then Scott hauls them out and Derek goes back to pretending that Stiles is a bug unworthy of being squashed beneath his shoe, and Stiles goes back to reminding him at regular intervals that this bug saved his life, hello?

Which is normal. Fine. They move on.

Jackson turns out to be the kanima and can't seem to remember why he was so determined to keep Stiles and Derek trapped in a swimming pool, but whatever. Stiles no longer even gets hard-ons when he thinks of chlorine and wet skin and dark shirts clinging pornographically to obscenely perfect abs.

No, really. He doesn't.
______________

Then, it's the golem.

There's a new witch in Beacon Hills that enchants Coach Finstock with magic mud, so that he turns into a sort of terra-cotta zombie. A golem. Out to kill people. By the witch's command.

Naturally, Scott's too busy romancing Allison to pay much attention to the giant clay-monster wreaking its way across town, and naturally, Erica and Isaac are completely useless and end up down for the count within the first two minutes, so Derek and Stiles are left holding up the fort, except that the fort is a broom closet that the witch magically locks them in.

For three hours.

Three. Freaking. Hours.

Why the witch doesn't just kill them, Stiles can't understand. Not that he isn't grateful for the not-killing - he still has a history paper to submit on Friday and he'd rather be alive enough to finish it, thanks - but he isn't sure dying wouldn't be a better option than enduring another minute of Derek's thorny-but-eloquent silences.

"Can't we just - "

"No."

"But if only we could - "

"No."

"Why are you so opposed to talking? What, is it going to break your neanderthal brain to put more than two multisyllabic words together? Talking is what people do, okay? Talking is - "

" - what you do. Shut up."

Stiles shuts up.

It's not like he wants to talk to leather-wearing jerks with washboard abs, anyway.

Eventually, Boyd gets them out - clearly, Boyd is the only member of Derek's pack with an actual brain - and they get the mud off Coach Finstock by throwing him into a river while Stiles dials 911 to get an ambulance there in time to resuscitate the coach once they've pulled him out of said river.

Oh, and Stiles saves Derek's life, again, when the witch tries to cast an asphyxiating hex on him and Stiles accidentally takes it in the chest, instead.

It's not like he was leaping in front of Derek, or anything. That would be ridiculous. And suicidal. And stupid. And Stiles is not stupid.

He ends up being the one carried away in the ambulance, though, which is... pretty stupid.