The Wedding Night...

Guilt and old habits...

The days after Firat's and Gül's engagement were a blur in Dilan's mind. She struggled with guilt. Ms. Hanife had died protecting her and Baran. At her wake, she did not know how to face the Demirs. She feared they would reject her, but they didn't. Instead, they tried to reassure her by any means possible. Speaking with her father, she learned that Ms. Hanife deeply regretted her past behavior. The disease made her realize just how bad she had been to her. She had expressed how she would have loved to have a chance to mend some of the damage before she lost her memories and herself. Her Dad told her, "At the end, she got her wish fulfilled." However, Dilan could not help but to blame herself. Things with Baran were not great either. She was upset with her husband for not revealing to her what he knew sooner. She had been postponing a conversation with him. Some matters took priority. One being the fate of that man. Ali Akyol. Dilan feared that blood would be spilled and that a new blood feud would ensue, which would put her family in danger. She vocalized her concerns to Baran. He listened quietly, and at the end, he asked her to trust him. Like she had any other choice, she could not talk to the council herself. Dilan felt powerless. Too many things were happening around her without her having a say in them. Therefore, to keep her sanity, she focused on the twins. She followed a routine with them just to feel some sense of normalcy within the chaos. Another thing that was in Dilan's mind was Ms. Azade and what she had confessed. The repercussions that her actions had on their lives were too great to ignore. Forgiveness was a must, but forgetting was going to be difficult for everyone, especially for Baran. The possibility of her being sent away was very high. They had walked this path once before, and Dilan had succeeded in keeping her in the mansion, but this time, not even she was certain of what the best decision was.

"Dilan!" Baran's voice came from their room. But Dilan didn't reply. She remained with her children, studying their beautiful and constantly changing faces. "Dilan!" The silent plea in his voice made her turn. He was standing in front of her. "Have you had anything to eat today?" She asked, keeping things simple, inconsequential, and away from that day. "I'm not hungry." Ignoring him, she commented. "I'll go get you something from the kitchen. You should take a shower in the meantime." She walked out of the twins' room and into the hallway. "Dilan." She felt his hand wrapped around her arm, and she closed her eyes. "Dilan, please. Let's talk." It is not that she didn't want to talk. The problem was that she didn't know if she was ready. "What happened at the Council's meeting?" He breathed out exasperated. "I want to talk about us, Dilan, not about that man." His irritated tone angered her. "I'm sorry. I forgot you are the one who decides what we talk about and when." She marched away, but she didn't get far before he spun her around and made her crash against him. "Not true, and you know it. I've given you enough time and space." He was getting angry, but she was not intimidated. "And you are the one who decides how long is enough? News flash, Baran, it is not up to you." Dilan felt her blood running hot. She struggled to get out of his arms, but he pinned her against the hallway wall and kissed her. His tongue barging inside her mouth uninvited, violently, and urgently. She was on the verge of losing herself in him when she pushed him hard. "No!" Baran was breathing heavily, and his eyes looked disoriented. "Dilan, I..." She walked away. When she reached the head of the stairs, she stopped. Her legs had a mind of their own. She was walking back, but Baran was no longer in the hallway. Dilan checked the twins' room. He wasn't there either.

Ever since that day, Baran had been lost when it came to his wife. He did not regret that day's decisions, but he did regret not sharing with her what he knew on the days prior. Baran sat on the couch in their room, with his head on his hands, feeling tired. The air in the room changed. Looking up, he saw Dilan walking fast in his direction. She appeared angry still, but there was another emotion on her face. Want. He opened his arms to welcome her, and she climbed onto his lap. Then she kissed him like she could not go another second without him. He began pulling her dress up, and she did the same with his suit jacket. In between kisses, she struggled with the buttons of his shirt. She willed the shirt open. Buttons flew in all directions as he lavishly kissed her neck. Hands were everywhere. He needed her desperately. He was dying to be inside of her. Unwilling to lose any more time, he used his strength to break the fabric of her panties. "Oh!" She gasped in surprise. She lifted herself while he positioned his erection. She descended on him hard. He groaned at the friction. She wasn't wet enough. She didn't seem to care, so he embraced the discomfort. There was also pleasure in it. He lashed onto her breast. Pulling hard, hard enough that he had a taste of her milk. He felt Dilan's finger on his hair before she pulled forcefully. He licked the milk off his lips as his wife nipped the skin of his neck. He watched her as she landed over and over again on his cock. She reached his lips and bit his bottom lip. They were in a frenzy. It was raw, intense, and fast. They plummeted together against the couch. Both spent and exhausted. Embracing Dilan, Baran closed his eyes and sucked in her fragance. "I'm sorry, my angel." He kept repeating as he stroked her back. "I love you so much, Dilan. These past few days were a torment."