hey can we hang out later??
~emma xx.
I get a random text from Emma as I'm just pulling into my driveway. After I park my car, I respond to Emma telling her to come over around 5.
I then make my way inside and up to my room and fall back on to my bed. Today is the first afternoon in weeks that I haven't hung out with Ashton. Ashton! Just at the thought of him reminds me of our previous activities from this afternoon. I enjoy doing things like that with him; I like to make him feel good, especially when he hasn't been feeling his best.
After I snap out of my daydreams from earlier today, I start on my homework. Homework has never been my favorite thing to do but then again, who's is it.
About two hours later I'm done, and I decide to take a quick shower before Emma comes over. After I adjust the water to my liking, I put my music on shuffle. How appropriate- the song that Ashton and I listened to on our first official date comes on.
"This is the start of something beautiful, this is the start of something new.." I softly sing. "And you are the one to make me loose it all. And you are the start, of something new. Ohh"
These lyrics remind me of Ashton and my relationship. Before I started dating him, I was Sydney: the popular girl at school, dating the popular boy at school. Everyone who I talked to said that they wanted to be like me. That's the thing about Ashton though. He's not the popular boy at school; he's the weird nerdy kid who everyone hates for no given reason. But that's not who he is to me. To me he's this beautiful boy who shines so bright, like a star, and he has a smile that could cure the world of all its faults.
He's my Ashton.
Even if you're both having a bad day, you can always count on him to make you happy because that's just who he is. Even though he's been put through so many rough situations, he's still just as kind and gentle as a baby deer.
He's changed me too.
Before him, I felt as dull as the colors on a newspaper and as dimensional as a sheet of paper. Just so one sided. I felt like I always had to wear the side of Sydney that Everyone wanted to see; peppy, pretty, always put together Sydney. But now with Ashton, I feel brighter than a sunset and I feel like I have more dimensions than the twilight zone.
Once I'm done thinking about Ashton and me, it dons on me that Emma should be here anytime now. I quickly get out of the shower and slid into my clothes and wrap my hair up into a towel.
"There you are, finally. I was about to leave." I walk into my room to see a sprawled out Emma on my bed.
"Uhh.. Nice to see you too." I say back to her, just as cheerily. She gives me the stare that she always gives me when she gets annoyed with me. "Why are you mad at me??" I question her.
"I'm not." She says too forcefully, "the reason I came here was because I wanted to know what we're gonna do for your birthday. We should do something big!! I'm talking rent out a giant club and just invite a bunch of people." She suggests to me. See the thing with me and birthdays is that I've never been too in to celebrating them. When I turned seven I enjoyed it, but that's only because I got to go to Disney. Every other year, I've hated birthdays. Especially when I turned sixteen. Emma threw this huge party for me, but I hated it. I mean don't get me wrong, I loved that I had a friend who through a party for me, but I just didn't enjoy the experience at all.
"Hello!! Earth to Sydney!!" Emma barks at me.
"Sorry, sorry. But uhm, actually Ashton and I were sort of ready planning to do something for my birthday." That's only half true. Ashton and I did talk about celebrating my birthday together however, we never fully confirmed it.
"Oh...yeah okay I see. Ditch your best friend for your boyfriend!! Perfectly fine. Not a problem at all!" She screams at me.
"Emma I don't see why you're screaming at me about this. I made these plans with Ashton three weeks ago. I'm not gonna ditch him for a party that I don't even want to go to!" I say back just as forcefully.
"You know what? Fine, I don't care. Go be one of those girls who leaves her best friend for her boyfriend!" She says before she gets up and walks away. "But don't come crawling back to me when he ends up breaking your heart" she says inches away from my face. She then leaves my room and slams the door in my face.
I'm now, left all alone in my room, lost for words. What just happened?? Is the only thing that can come to mind.
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The Struggle
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