The Struggle

Ashton's POV.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Monday is today and today is the day that I go back to the burning gates of hell.
School. The past few weeks have been the best. Everyday, almost all day, I've gotten to be with Sydney. Because she still had to go to school, once she got out, she would come to the hospital or to my house once I was released to be with me. But today is the day that I've been dreading for the past two weeks. Today is the day that I go back to the reality of all of the messed up bullshit at school including Luke and everyone else who hates me at school. Sydney said that she was picking me up today, so I finish getting ready for school and grab my backpack and head outside to my front door and wait for Sydney. A few moments later, Sydney pulls up and I walk to her car and get in.
"Hey!" I say to Sydney as I lean over the center console and give her a kiss.
"Hi!" Syd says back, equally excited. "So, are you ready for your first day back?" She asks me as we grab hands.
"No, not at all. I'm going to miss our afternoons of cuddling together and our 'real dates' which reminds me, I owe you a new 'first real date' considering that our first one took an unexpected turn. I mean not that I mind the turn that it took, it was an amazing turn but, I still owe you a proper date."
"Well, if you insist." Sydney says sheepishly, but with a huge grin on her face.
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Biology goes by very fast with Sydney and I then have geometry which goes by rather slow. When the lunch bell rings, butterflies start erupting in my stomach. When I get into the cafeteria, I search for a table that's closest to a wall and isolated from everyone else as possible. Once I find one that will due, I take out my lunch and start eating. Not that I'm afraid of anyone hurting me again, but the thought is constantly in the back of my mind. As I scan the crowd of people at lunch, I hear snickers coming from tables around me, and I instantly think that everyone is laughing at me. Nobody is looking at me; but I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that everyone is laughing at me. Immediately, I get up and run out of the cafeteria, as fast as I can. I don't even know where I'm running to, so I find the bath room and decide to go in there.
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I've been in the bathroom for about an hour and a half now just standing here, counting the squares on the tile floors. 'What's even the point anymore' I ask myself. I hate it when I feel this way because I know that it's the beginning of a long depression. I mean yeah, I have Sydney, but I can't let her know that I'm feeling this way. Although she can usually tell how I'm feeling, I still can't tell her.
After having a moment to myself, I pull myself together, and decide to leave the bathroom. I wipe the tears away from my eyes and walk out of the bathroom.
"Oh sorry" I say to someone that I collide with after leaving the bathroom.
"It's okay babe don't worry" Sydney says back to me. "Ashton what's wrong?"
"What?" I ask her while feeling very disconnected.
"Babe, what's wrong? It looks like you were crying." Sydney asks me. There's nothing more that I hate more than lying to Sydney, but I must in order to keep her happy and not worry about me.
"Oh, nothing, I'm okay. I just got something in my eye."
"What could you have possibly gotten in your eye?" she asks, seeming puzzled. She's so beautiful and I love her so much. It pains me so much to lie to her this way. Maybe I should just tell her how I'm feeling...no.. I can't do that. I couldn't bear to see her in pain for me.
"I don't know hah. Probably just an eyelash or something." I say with a slight smile.
"Okay." she quietly says, while staring deep into my eyes.
"Don't worry, Syd." I say to her as I lean in and gently place a soft kiss on her lips.
"Okay Ash." she whispers to me before reattaching our lips and pulling me back into the bathroom.
'This girl drives me crazy yet lets me feel forms of joy that aren't even known to man' I think to myself.

you all have a justified right to kill me after going two months with out posting and leaving you with a sex scene for last chapter. i'm sorry i haven't posted in so long and i'm sorry that this is such a shit chapter, although I like the end when sydney and ashton run into eachother. I have plans and I know how the book is going to end, however I'm not ready to end it yet cause you know, Sydney and Ashton still have prom and stuff to do together soooo yeah! I love you guys and thank you for reading my story. I'm also going to start another story soon. It's going to be a Matt Espinosa story so i'll tell you guys when that will be if you're interested. ily guys!!!