The Struggle

Sydney's POV.

"You can shower with me, I don't care. If you want to, no pressure." I say, inviting Ashton to shower with me. It seems like he wants to say yes, but he looks so conflicted as if he has an up hill war going on in his head.
"Okay." Ashton says in agreement. "This way." Ashton says grabbing my hand. I'm a bit nervous for some reason and I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it's because Ashton is going to be naked..with me, but I really have no clue.
Once we get into the bathroom, Ashton starts the water and makes sure with me that the temperature is okay and asks me if I want any music.
"Do you have any Ed Sheeran?" I ask him and he nods and starts the music. "You're sure about this, right?" I ask Ashton one more time.
"Yeah, positive." He affirms.
"Okay, well, let's get in then." I propose.
"Yeah." Ashton says looking down. When he looks back up, he turns pale as a ghost as if he's in utter shock. I wonder what he's thinking about. Ashton then proceeds with taking off his shirt and we both then proceed with our pants.
"The water is gonna get cold, we should hurry up." I suggest. Ashton once again looks down and agrees so I take this opportunity to finish getting undressed so that I'm completely naked.
"Wow." Ashton quietly says to himself. "You're gorgeous."
Ashton thinks I'm gorgeous? No I'm not. I mean, yeah, I think I'm a little pretty but no where near gorgeous!
"I'm serious, Syd. You are." Ashton says as to me as he walks over and wraps his arms around my waist and caresses it.
"Thank you." I say meeting his eyes. "Can we get in now?" I ask after Ashton pecks my lips. "I'm getting kind of cold." I add while I wrap my arms around myself and cuddle further into Ash.
"Yeah." Ashton says while taking his boxers off.
Wow! He thinks I'm gorgeous!? He should take a look at himself! A naked Ashton is a sight that I could never get tired of looking at. After seeing Ashton, that just makes me even more self conscious about myself.
"Thank you" I quietly say to Ashton for opening the shower door for me. Before Ashton can get to me, I hide in the corner of the shower, sealing myself off away from him.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Ashton asks me as he pulls me into him.
"Nothing..I'm just a bit shy." I've never been shy around a guy before, but Ashton makes me feel so different about everything. I love him so much.
"You have nothing to be shy about, you're beautiful." Ashton confesses to me.
"I love you, Ashton." I say to him. I really do. Every single thing about him; his laugh, his hair, his sense of humor, his kindness and caring ways, the way he looks at me, when he tells me I'm beautiful, I just love everything!
"I love you even more." Ashton pledges to me. "Turn around."
Ashton then rinses the egg and flour out of my hair and lathers it with shampoo and conditioner. Something about being like this with Ashton is so relaxing. I decide to close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder and I feel Ashton press his lips to my forehead. I then open my eyes and wrap my arms around Ashton's neck and pull him down so I can look in his beautiful amber eyes. Once our noses touch, I mumble to myself, "How did I get so lucky."
"I ask myself that every time I think of you, see you, with you. You'll never know how much I love you, Sydney. I love you so, so much, and I can't bare the thought of not being with you-" What he's saying to me means so much, but I need to kiss him so badly so show him how large my love for him is.
"Shh..shhh. Just kiss me." I whisper to him.
We've kissed many times in the past weeks together, but non of our kisses have held so much passion for me, and I've never received as much passion from him; until now. The only thoughts running through my head are how much I love Ashton. I turn around and drag my hands through his silky, yet floury curls. I need to touch more of him. I just need to feel him; I need to feel all of him.
"My legs are getting tired." I say to him. I then feel Ashton wrap his large hands around my thighs and pick me up and pull me into his chest, never breaking the kiss. I then feel Ashton changing positions so that he can sit down. We kiss in that position for a while but I then stand up on my knees so that my head is above his.
More.
I need more of Ashton, I need all of Ashton. I need to feel the love of my life in every single way possible and I need to give him as much love as possible.
"Ashton..." I address him.
"Yeah?" he questions with his lips still attached to mind.
'This is it Sydney. No turning back now' I think to myself before saying to Ashton,
"I want to do more."

{Okay, so I'm sorry that this chapter is super short but I was thinking about how I'd write the chapter that I originally planned on writing and I thought that it might be nice to have Sydney's POV during them in the shower because I don't know, she just loves him a ton. So, I hope to start the next chapter today but I have to do my homework first but yeah just stay tuned and thank you all sooooooo so so so much for reading!!}