The Struggle

Sydney's POV.

!!! PLEASE READ BOLDED PART OF AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!
After Ashton and I got done eating at the park, I went home and started getting ready for our first official date tonight. I've asked Ashton numerous times what he's planning on having us do but he won't tell me a thing. All that he's told me is to wear something comfortable. Putting that thought aside, I continue on with getting ready for tonight. I blow dry my hair after showering, put on minimal makeup since Ashton hates the stuff on me and try to find something comfortable to wear. I finally settle with leggings, a tank top under my sweatshirt and moccasin slippers. Ashton said comfortable after all, right? I make sure I'm happy with how I look, grab my phone, coat, and car keys and proceed with getting in my car to go to Ashton's.
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"Hi..." says a shy Ashton as if we just met.
"Hi." I say back with an awkward smile. I don't know why but for some reason, I'm feeling extra giddy and nervous around him right now. I don't know if it's because it's our first official date or what but something is making me extra nervous.
"You look...gorgeous." Ashton says sounding like he's out of breath. "Seriously, Syd! You took my breath away!"
"Thanks." I awkwardly squeak out.
"Well, uh, come in." Ashton says as he steps aside to allowing me to enter his house.
"So, now that I'm here and I'm with you, will you please tell me what you have planned?" I ask Ashton.
"Yes.But close your eyes!" Ashton says as I feel myself being lifted off the ground.
"OH MY GOSH ASHTON!!" I scream as I wrap my arms around his neck, holding on to him for dear life.
"Relax, babe. I'm not going to drop you." he says as I feel him plant a kiss on my temple.
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"Okay, open your eyes!" Ashton says seconds after he puts me down.
"Ah! Ashton."I say. This time it's my turn to have my breath taken away from me. Everything looks so perfect. Ashton has set up a ginormous fort that has blankets and pillows inside surrounding his TV.
"I'm sorry...it's not very much." Ashton apologizes. Why would he say that he's sorry? I love this date already and it's barely even started.
"Baby you have nothing to apologize for! This is amazing! I love it!" I say to him as I walk over and put my hands on his cheeks.
"Yeah, but you're probably used to more extravagant things. I mean this, it's just pillows and blankets in a heap surrounding my tv."
"Ashton, why have you been so down on yourself lately? What happened? I remember in the hospital you were saying how you didn't care about anyone's opinion of you but ever since you've been released you've seemed really depressed and it's worrying me." It seems as if my suspicions about Ashton's behavior as of late are proven correct because he doesn't answer to mini speech. "Just know that if you ever need someone to talk to I'll always be there for you okay?"
"Mhm" Ashton quietly says with a slight nod of his head.
"I love you." I say to him as I walk over and give him a tight hug.
"I love you more." Ashton says as he returns the gesture.
We stand there hugging for a few moments and Ashton then says with a smile, "Wanna make cookies?"
"YES!!" I scream at him as I grab his hand and drag him over to the kitchen.
"What kind do you wanna make?" Ashton asks me with a smile.
"Chocolate chip!" I say back happily.
We are planning on making them from scratch so Ashton and I look up a recipe and proceed with gathering the ingredients to make the cookies. We get eggs, flour, chocolate chips, and a few other things and fix them together.
"Hey, Syd" Ashton says as he taps me on the shoulder.
"Yeah?" I ask as I turn around but instead of being greeted by Ashton's face, I'm greeted with a cloud of flour being blown into my face. I momentarily freeze, unsure of what to do before I clear my eyes, grab an egg and attempt to crack it on Ashton's head.
"Need some help there?" He asks me while laughing hysterically.
"Maybe." I say after accepting the fact that with out Ashton's help I won't be able to get egg on his head.
"Okay." Ashton says as he raps his arms around my waist and lifts me up so that I'm above his head.
"Aw, your hair looks so nice, I don't wanna ruin it." I say. His hair really is nice; his amber blond curls going everywhere, it really would be a shame to ruin it.
"Are you being serious?" Ashton says while looking up at me. "Just crack the damn egg!" He says with a happy giggle. That's one of my favorite things about him.
"If you say so.." I say as I smash the egg on top of his head. Once he puts me down, I grab a bunch of flour and put it on top of his head so that he has a wet, floury mess.
"Hey! I didn't say flour too!" Ashton scream-laughs while he raps his arms around me and pours a cup of flour on my head. I soon fall to the ground from laughing so hard. Ashton then sits on me in a straddling way before cracking an egg on my head too. "What a shame! Your hair was so nice!" Ashton yells through laughs but his body too eventually gives out and he falls the rest of the way on top of me. Once we regain our sanity and catch our breaths I say to him,
"We're a mess!" We really are. I mean mentally when we're together, we're a mess but right now we're literally a mess. We have egg and flour all over ourselves.
"I know. Let's go shower." I'm a bit taken back by Ashton saying this. I mean not that I mind, I don't mind showering with Ashton at all, but I just never expected him to say something like that.
"Only if you want to of course." That's more like my Ashton to say. Ashton and I help each other up, and then he leads me up stairs to the bathroom.
"You can shower first if you want." That's even more like my Ashton to say.
"You can shower with me, I don't care. If you want to, no pressure."

Ashton's POV.
I can't believed that Sydney just asked me to shower with her! I want to say yes, but I feel like something is holding me back. I'm about to decline, but my better judgement gets the best of me and blurts out an "Okay.".
I then start the water and make sure that the temperature is okay with her, get her a towel and wash cloth, check the temperature again, and ask her if she want's any music. She asks me if I have any Ed Sheeran, and I do, so I put it on for her.
Now comes the awkward part.
Not that being naked with Sydney should be awkward, but at the same time I feel like it will be.
"Okay let's get in then." Sydney says. She must sense my un-comfortableness because she asks me again if I'm sure that I want to shower together which I reply a yes, and start taking my shirt off. She does the same so now she only has her bra to cover her. 'Fuck this is awkward.' I keep thinking to myself.
Next comes pants. We both take our pants off so that we're now only in our underwear.
"The water's gonna get cold, we should hurry up." Sydney says to me.
"Yeah" I say back to her. I look down, and by the time I look back up, she's completely naked.
'Holy shit! Sydney... Naked...Right. In. Front. Of. Me!!' that's the only coherent thought that I'm capable of forming right now.
"Wow." I say to myself under my breath. "You're gorgeous." I say louder, this time to her. All that she does is look down and smile. She doesn't believe me, does she.
"I'm serious, Syd. You are." I say as I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her waist. Her skin is so soft and I if I could, I'd stay like this all day, just rubbing my hands all over her silky skin.
"Thank you." she says meeting me eyes. I just smile at her and peck her pink lips. "Can we get in now? I'm getting kind of cold." She says quietly as she wraps her arms around herself and cuddles further into me.
"Yeah." I say. I then take my boxers off and open the shower door for her to get in.
"Thank you." she quietly says to me. Once I get in the shower, she has herself hidden in the corner of the shower.
"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask her as I pull her closer.
"Nothing..I'm just a bit shy." Sydney!? Shy??? She has absolutely nothing to be shy about, she's absolutely beautiful.
"You have nothing to be shy about." I say to her as I lift her chin up so she can look at me. "You're beautiful." I tell her as I kiss her forehead.
"I love you, Ashton." she tells me.
"I love you even more!" I sincerely say back to her.
"Turn around." I tell her and she does so. I take the shower head out of its handle and rinse the egg and flour out of her hair. After making sure that there's no more egg, I grab shampoo and conditioner and rub it in her hair. As I'm doing so, she rests her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes. I kiss her forehead and she wraps her arms around the top of the back of my neck and pulls me down so that our noses are touching.
"How did I get so lucky?" Sydney says, barely audible.
"I ask myself that every time I think of you, see you, with you. You'll never know how much I love you, Sydney. I love you so, so much, and I can't bare the thought of not being with you-"
"Shh..shhh." Sydney shushes me. "Just kiss me."
So, I kiss her. We've kissed many times in our past weeks together, but non of our kisses have held so much passion for me. Sydney then turns herself around and runs her hands through my hair and drags her hands down to my waist and wraps them around me. "My legs are getting tired." Sydney mumbles into my lips.
"Okay." I respond. In a swift motion, I grab her thighs and wrap them around my hips and turn around to sit down.
We kiss in that position for a while with Sydney sitting on my lap, but she then stands on her knees so that her head is above mine. There's a space in between us now that I don't want so I wrap my arms around the small of her back and pull her into me so that there is no space left between us now.
"Ashton..." she quietly says under her breath.
"Yeah?" I ask her with our lips still attached.
She then breaks the kiss and looks deep into my eyes and says to me,
"I want to do more."

{ hi loves! so, I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. I was writing this chapter and then I stopped for about a week and then I started writing it again but my ipad which is what I write this story on broke so I had to get a new one and the internet got all messed up but long story short, I finally have this up! Now for the important part!
Ashton has been a bit down on himself lately. I don't really know why to be honest why I made Ashton feel this way, I don't know but I was doing something that made me end up writing Ashton like that in this chapter, I don't know I just tend to channel my feelings a lot into the story but enough of my emotional rant. But any way, I hope to get the next chapter up wicked soon I'm about to start writing it because I have it ALL PLANED OUT!! and I'm so excited for it. Also, when Ashton yells at Sydney about the egg and flour in his hair, his tone of voice is supposed to be the laughing tone in the ''Cookies in my taters" video sooooooo yeah!
I love you guys and thank you so so so so so much for reading this, it means soooo so so so much to me!! <3}