Last A Lifetime

CHAPTER 19 - "JUDGE"

CHAPTER 19 - "JUDGE”

What happened? Pagmulat ko ng mga mata ko, ang blurr ng paningin ko kaya I blinked a few times. When it was clear nakita ko si Nate at si Alex sa tabi ko.

“Hey Gab.” Sabi naman ni Alex ng mahina.

“Alex? What happened?”Tanong ko naman sa kanya habang hinihimas ko ang ulo ko.

“Nahimatay ka Gab, nag palpitate ka daw bigla. Mabuti nalang at kasama mo itong si Nate.” Right, I was with Nate that time. And that was the time nakita ko si Ken. I felt my heart beats fast again. I stiffened.

“Hey Gab, what is wrong with you? Bakit ka nagkakaganyan?” tumingin sa akin si Alex, si Nate naman lumabas para tawagin yung school nurse.

“Hindi ko alam Alex, napagod lang siguro ako.”

“Yan naman kasi ang lagi kong sinasabi sa’yo eh, huwag na huwag kang magpapagod masyado, nakakasama sa puso mo.”

“Bakit? Anong nakakasama sa puso niya?” Pumasok sa loob si Nate at obviously narinig niya ang pinagsasabi ni Alex. Way to go Alex.

“Ah, eh, alam mo na, pag sobrang stress nakakasama sa puso.”

“I see.” I bet hindi umubra kay Nate ang excuse ni Alex. I know him. He is always makes that ‘are-you-kidding-me-you-are-not-fooling-anyone’ look when he doesn’t believe your excuse.

“Uhm, Nate, thank you for your help.” Iniba ko na ang topic para hindi niya na isipin.

“You’re always welcome Gab, let me take you home nalang so that you can rest. Okay?”

“Huwag na Nate, kailangan ko pang pumasok eh.” Okay, wala naman kaming gagawin ngayon, plus like duh? When did I start prioritizing my ‘School-stuff’? like NEVER.

I just wanna go to my class so I can talk to Ken. Pathetic ba? Desperate na ako eh, kailangan ko siyang makausap. I have to explain all of this to him.

After I went out sa clinic, dumiretso sa ako sa classroom namin. Walang may alam sa nangyari, I hope, ayoko kasing may maka alam sa situation ko.

Ayokong kaawaan ako nila kaya I decided to keep this one a secret from ANYONE.

Nakita ko agad si Ken pagpasok ko ng room, tumingin siya sa direksyon ko pero binaling niya kaagad ang kanyang tingin. Ewan ko ba, nag-guilty talaga ako sa nangyari.

Obviously, he is upset with me. I just can't figure out why. Is it because of what he saw earlier? I wish I can tell him that it didn't mean anything. I wish he'll listen.

"Ken." Lumapit ako sa kanya and called his attention.

"What?" Humarap siya sa akin, but his expressions is not giving anything away.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. Why would I be mad at you Gabriella? Is there a reason I should be mad about?" Gabriella? Really?

"Wala."

"Eh wala naman pala eh, bakit mo ako tinatanong kung galit ako sa'yo?"

"Eh kasi, you look like you're upset with something. And I saw you earlier... At the parking lot. Pero di mo ako pinansin."

"I am sorry about that Gabriella, but it looks to me you're kind of busy. Kaya I didn't bother to say hi." Tumalikod na siya at papaalis na.

"It's not what you think." Bigla kong sinabi, at huminto siya. Alam kong nakikinig siya, kaya tinuloy ko yung sasabihin ko. "Please Ken, hear me out. Let's talk, later. After class." I saw him nodding. I think. Kaya medyo masaya na ako.

After classes, I can't wait for us to talk. Kaya I approached him. Papalapit palang ako, hinawakan niya na ako sa braso at hinila ng mahina.

"Not here." Sumunod naman ako. Medyo marami yung nakatingin, katatapos lang kasi ng classes eh kaya maraming estudyanteng lumalabas ng classrooms.

Huminto kami sa tapat ng sasakyan niya.

"Now, talk." Ay grabe to, anong akala niya sa akin? Aso? Tiningnan ko lang siya ng masama. "Well?"

"Well mo yang mukha mo!"

"Akala ko ba may sasabihin ka?" Mainit na yung ulo niya. I can tell, parang lalabas na yung mata niya eh.

"Eh, ayusin mo naman kasi. Anong akala mo sa akin, aso?"

Huminga siya ng malalim habang nakapikit yung mata niya, when he exhaled and opened his eyes, it's in a much more calmer state, siguro.

"Okay, I am sorry. What is it you're going to say?"

"Better." Phew, kaya mo yan Gab. "Here's the thing Ken, what you saw earlier? Didn't mean anything. Nothing at all. Sinundo niya lang ako kanina sa bahay, sabi niya kasi it is his way of apologizing."

"For what? Before?"

"Yes...  and for yesterday." Kinakabahan ako sa magiging reaction niya.

"Yesterday? Nagkita kayo, kaya hindi ka pumayag na magkita tayo?" Natahimik ako bigla.

"But, but... But Ken, he needed a friend. He needed me."

Tumahimik lang siya. Pero nakatingin parin sa akin.

"Enough about this sh*t! I should have known. You know what?-- I knew. I knew that there is still that little sl*t inside you. Kahit ano pa ang gawin mo!" Bigla siya tumahimik, parang nagulat din sa sinabi niya. Habang ako naman, hindi na mapigilan ang sarili ko sa pag-iyak.

I know I'm a b*tch. At least I knew I used to be. But a sl*t? Hindi niya ba nakikita na I tried to change for him, to please him?

I just smiled at him and left.