Last A Lifetime

CHAPTER 21 - "GETTING WORSE"

CHAPTER 21 - "GETTING WORSE"

It's already the month of December. Ang bilis lang ng panahon. Finally, I can have a break soon. Break from all the sh*t that happend to me the past month.

Masaya kami ni Nate and Alex. No, Nate and I aren't back together. I don't want to. Ayokong paasahin siya. Ayokong lokohin siya o ang sarili ko. Kasi iba yung sinasabi ng puso ko. Iba ang sinasabing tao na dapat kong mahalin.

Anyways, I focuse myself more in studying. Nagulat ka ano? Okay lang yan, kahit ako nagulat nga rin eh. Pero kailangan. Kailangan kong bumawi. Ipakita sa IBA na kaya ko rin, na hindi lang puro papaganda lang alam ko. And I guess, I got some respect around here.

When I got home, I went directly to my mom's room. As I rushed in, I saw my mom talking on the phone and I stood by the door, seems I don't want to enter but I over heard her conversation with who ever that is.

"Now, how did that happend?... Bakit ngayon lang?... That is your responsibility! Look, Doctor..." Doctor? My doctor? "Please do anything. I don't want to loose my daughter, she's all that I have left." My mom began to cry. She sat at the end of her bed as she hanged up the phone. Umiiyak parin siya. I came in.

"Mom." I know she's not fine. At alam ko kung bakit. It's about my f*cking illness.

"Gabby. Darling, how is your day?" She tried to smile, maybe to cover her sadness but it's too late for that.

"Great mom."

"So, you want snacks?" Hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kaya tinanong ko na siya bigla.

"Mom, was that my doctor you are talking to?" She just stared at me, still crying. "Mom, please tell me, I have the right to know. I have to know."

"Your condition Gab, it's... It's getting worse."

I think my world stopped. Oh no. That's not possible! It can't be. It just can't.

"How... How come?"

"I told the doctor about what happened last time and he got the information from the clinic of your school. And as he reviewed it, he said there are some complications. I know it's hard for you Gabriella, and believe me its harder for me. Ayokong nakikita kang nahihirapan. I am sorry Gabriella, I'm really sorry. I wish I can take away the pain. Kahit ako nalang yung masaktan, 'wag lang ikaw. I will do everything."

Hearing my mom said those words, makes me cry. To think na ako yung dahilan kung bakit siya umiiyak ngayon. Ang hirap. Pero kakayanin ko to. I will do anything to get well. Ayoko siyang iwan. She has no one except me.

"Mom, no. I will see my doctor, make consultations, since magbabakasyon naman, I don't have to worry about missing school."

"Okay, baby. We'll get pass this." My mom hugged me and I felt like I am safe, that I am healthy. My mom gives me strength, she is my strength.

After our exams, finally vacation na. Excited ang lahat for Christmas. Samantalang ako, magbabakasyon sa ospital.

But there is still something that upsets me. Ken. Hanggang ngayon hindi parin kami naguusap since the last time.

"Hey, Gab."

"Oh, hey, Alex. Sup?" I greeted her lively, para hindi siya makahalata.

"Oh-kay? What's up with you? Why are you being bubbly all of the sudden?"

"Nothing, hindi ba pwede?"

"Hindi naman, but it seems you are hiding something." Cr*p. Hindi talaga ako makakalusot dito kay Alex eh.

"Ano ka ba Alex? Excited lang ako for our vacation. Bakit ikaw, hindi ka ba excited?" Tanong ko naman sa kanya, just to distract her.

"Of course I am excited! Finally we have some break about all this!" Phew, nadistract ko na si Alex, mabuti nalang!

Noong palabas na kami ng room after our class, nakasalubong ko naman si Ken. Nagtinginan kami, pero may tumawag sa kanya kaya he looked away and I also looked at the same direction. It was, her.

Maybe the rumors are true, that they are seeing each other. That hurts, so much. I was so close in admitting my feelings for him, mabuti nalang at hindi ko nagawa. Kasi pagsinabi ko, mas masakit ngayon ang nararamdaman ko.

Nakita naman ni Alex yung nakita ko. She tried to comfort me and I gave her a weak smile. We walked away.

"Alam mo Gab, naisip ko lang, kung sinabi mo kay Ken dati na gusto mo siya, do you think mangyayari to ngayon?" I shrugged, hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko. "Kasi Gab, kung sinabi mo dati pa, you can have assured him that you like him, just him." Napahinto ako, tiningnan ko si Alex, at hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko niyakap ko siya at umiyak sa balikat niya. Mabuti nalang at wala kami sa gitna ng corridor, nasa isang corner kami malapit sa comfort room.

"Alex! Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Ang sakit. Nagkamali ako. I know I made a mistake and I don't know how to fix it. Help me, please Alex, help me make the pain go away. I can't take it anymore." I cried and cried as I say those words. Parang hindi na nga ako maintindihan ni Alex eh, but she was still there, comforting me, never leaving my side.

"I'll help you Gab, I'm here for you, I always am." I hugged her hanggang sa parang naubus na yung luha ko sa kakaiyak.