Falling For You

Chapter 3

Once I get through the opening in the fence I walk as quickly as I can to the lake, where I know gale will be waiting for me. I spot him sitting in the grass facing the lake. And I can't help but smile as I sit down next to him. I've missed him. "I brought lunch." I set my bag down. I pull out two apples, a plastic container of sandwiches, and a bottle of liquor I got from the hob earlier in the day. I hand him an apple and take a bite out of mine, then I open the bottle and take a drink, cringing at the taste. "You turning into Haymitch now?" He asks jokingly, but I can tell there's real concern behind his joking manner. "No, I'm eating with it." I hold up my apple as an example and he laughs. "Are you gonna share?" I pass the bottle to him and take another bite of my apple. "You want a sandwich too?" I offer him one. He takes it and sets the bottle down between us. "Mhm...these are good. Did you make them?" I laugh. I've never been a very good cook, but I guess anyone can make a good sandwich. "No, Peeta." He does all the cooking in our house. "Hmm... Speaking of Peeta, when do you leave?" I take a deep breath, stalling. Every conversation we've had lately that starts like this ends in a fight. I finish my sandwich and take another drink. "In a few days. They want to fit another interview in before the wedding." I say. He looks away from me and I take another big drink, trying to avoid the awkward silence that follows most of our conversations. I put the leftover sandwiches and the rest of my stuff back into my bag, except for the bottle. "Why do they need to do another one? They just saw you." He finally looks at me. "They want to talk about our plans for our honeymoon, I think." I can feel everything getting blurry, at least I didn't drink enough to throw up. That's what happened when Peeta found me drunk last time and I'd like to not repeat the experience. Suddenly, Gale turns to me and leans in. His lips barely graze mine at first, then his kisses get more intense. Something inside me keeps telling me to stop, but it's hard to listen to it with how amazing the sensation is. His lips moving against the skin on my neck, moving down towards my chest, mixed with the dizziness of the alcohol, feel indescribable. I am in complete ecstasy. I lay down in the grass, allowing him to move on top of me. I wrap my legs around him and he easily unbuttons my shirt, with one swift movement of his fingers. His hand slides up to my chest, cupping my breast and something snaps awake inside me. In one quick movement my legs are back on the ground and I push him off. He's kissed me before plenty of times, but not like this. "I'm sorry. I can't- we can't do this." I stutter, desperately trying to button up my shirt, it's extremely difficult to find which button goes where with the alcohol clouding my brain. I shouldn't have drank. "I just-I have to go." I get my bag and get up, glancing down at him one last time. Then I run back towards the fence before he can say or do anything. I don't know where I'm going, I can't go home to Peeta like this, or Prim and my mother. I can barely even run straight everything is spinning so much. I just keep running, running from this, from Gale, from everything. I drop to the ground and curl up in a ball. I can't do this anymore. Everything I do is hurting someone, if I do what Snow wants and marry Peeta and have kids with Peeta, then I lose gale. And if I chose to keep doing this with Gale, I'm not just hurting Peeta and gale, I'm hurting myself, and my family if Snow finds out. But for some reason I just can't let him go. I get up and stumble towards the fence. I crawl under it and walk towards the bakery. If Peeta's in the bakery I can go home.

I look at ground as I walk so I don't throw up, everything but the ground is spinning. I find the bakery and I look in the window. I see him standing behind the counter, but it's too soon. He sees me too. I quickly turn around, although I'm sure that won't help. I hear the door open and I hope it's not him, but I know it is. "Katniss." He sounds closer than I imagined. "Peeta." I turn around. "What happened to you?" He pulls a leaf out of my hair. "I was just in the woods." I say, like its normal to have leaves in my hair. He keeps staring at my shirt, so I follow his gaze. I clearly didn't button my shirt correctly. I start giggling, before I can stop myself, looking at the horrible job I did at buttoning my shirt. "Come on, let's go home and get you cleaned up." He grabs my hand and I follow him to our house. It's not that far of a walk but it seems to take forever. He leads me into the house and closes the door behind us. "Sit down." He gestures to the chair next to me. I sit down and he pulls the leaves out of my hair. He takes it out of its braid and combs through it with his fingers, then he disappears for a second. He returns with a wet washcloth and he gently wipes my face off with it. I look down at my arms and notice that I have dirt all over me. He sets the washcloth down on the counter and I listen as he opens the cabinets and pulls things out. I turn around and watch him as he makes coffee. He hands me a mug and I take a sip. He doesn't say anything, so I don't either. I finish my coffee and pick up my bag, dumping everything out of it and onto the counter. I stand and throw the remains of the apples away, then I wipe the dirt off the outside of the sandwich container, and put it in the fridge. "I'm gonna go take a uh.. shower." I mumble, avoiding his eyes. I walk upstairs, get some different clothes, and turn on the shower.

I finish my shower and walk to our bedroom. When I walk in, Peeta's sitting on the bed.I slowly approach the bed and sit down. I force myself to look over at him. Now that I'm sober I feel horrible about what I did. "Peeta, I'm sorry about today. It won't happen again." I'm not exactly sure if that last part is true, but I say it anyway. "What happened? In the woods I mean." I look down trying to decide what to tell him. "I was just running and I fell and I guess that's how I got dirty. I'm not really sure everything was spinning so much." It's at least half true. "Was gale with you?" He asks. I nod, knowing where he's going with this. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but did something happen with gale?" I look away long enough to think about his question before I answer. "We were just sitting in the grass and drinking like we usually do on Sunday's." I pause, realizing what I just said. "Then he kissed me. I stopped when he took my shirt off and that's when I ran......... I know you probably didn't want to hear that but I don't really have many people to talk to about anything really anymore and now I don't know what I'm supposed to do." I bite my lip, waiting for his response. "I think you should do whatever you think feels right." He says. What I think feels right? Doesn't he realize that we're getting married in a few days? "I'm gonna go get something to eat." I tell him, standing up. I walk to the door before his voice stops me. "Katniss. Next time you do drink I'd rather you do it in the house. It's not safe in the woods." I turn around to look at him. "I'll keep that in mind." I say. I can't believe he just said that, when before he was so insistent on me not being drunk in his presence. I turn back around and walk down the stairs. He either really cares about my safety or wants to keep me from getting drunk around Gale, either way I'm grateful.