Falling For You

Chapter 21

My reflection in the mirror makes me cringe. My face is fuller, almost swollen looking, not unlike most of the rest of my body. Still, I watch myself in the mirror as I braid my hair in it's usual braid. How can I look like this when people all over the district are starving. Children are starving. Peeta tells me that I shouldn't beat myself up over it, that's it's not my fault that there are starving children, and that if I don't eat it's going to be my child that's starving. I know he's right, but I can't stop the overwhelming guilt I feel just walking through town.

I make my usual rounds, giving food or money to whoever I can. I make a point to skip Gale's house. He didn't like me giving Hazelle money before anyway, but after our fight there's no way I'm risking having to see him. Once I empty my bag I make my way back to the victors village, making my last stop at Haymitch's house.

Haymitch opens the door, holding a bottle of liquor in one hand. "Can I come in?" I ask, looking past him into the house. He shrugs and opens the door wider, allowing me to walk in. I stand next to his couch awkwardly, as he pours himself another drink in the kitchen. "Go ahead and sit down. Make yourself comfortable or whatever." He says, taking a seat on the other end of the couch. "So, what are you doing out? You're usually locked up in your house all day other than when you visit your sister." He's right. Lately I've been staying inside all day. Everyone knows I'm pregnant and it's nearly impossible to ignore all their stares. I only left today because I didnt want to be in the house with Peeta all day. "Peeta doesn't work today." He's always off on Sunday's. "And?" He waits for further explanation, sipping on his drink. "I didnt want to be in the house with him all day so I went for a walk and thought I'd come by here." He still doesn't seem to understand, but I don't really blame him. Most people would love to spend more time with Peeta. "Seems like it would be just the opposite. Did he do something?" Haymitch asks, in a sarcastic voice. He knows it's completely out of character for Peeta to do anything that would upset anyone. "No, of course not. He's sweet." I say, awkwardly wrapping my arms around my waist. "Katniss, you and I both know you love that boy. So, what's the problem?" He glances down at my hands, then back at me. "I just feel like I'm giving in to what President Snow wants by loving Peeta. I feel like I'm letting him win and I don't want to give him that satisfaction." I say, wringing my hands. He laughs, taking another sip of his drink. "Sweetheart, You are the most stubborn person I've ever met." I glare at him. "Being unhappy for the rest of your life because of your own stubbornness is giving in." I get up and walk out, slamming the door behind myself. How can he act like its so obvious? He's not the one being forced to make his love life public. I never wanted this. I never wanted a marriage or kids or any thing like that, until now. I can't tell if it's because I feel forced or because of my feelings for Peeta, but something's changed inside of me.

I stomp into the house, and into the kitchen, still upset and confused about my conversation with Haymitch. My feelings are forgotten when I see Peeta standing in the kitchen. He turns his head towards me, but doesn't get a chance to turn around before I wrap my arms around him. I wrap one arm around his waist and the other around his chest. "I made dinner." He says, after a long pause. "I see that." I smile at him and give him a kiss on the cheek. "Let's go eat in the living room." I suggest. "I already ate." I take one of my arms off him. "Okay. Then I'll go eat in the living room." I smirk at him. "Come on." I get a bowl of stew for myself and grab his hand, leading him into the living room with me.

I sit down next to Peeta and take a bite of my stew. It tastes surprisingly sweet. And lemony? I look over at Peeta, questioningly. "Do you like it?" I nod. "Yes." I take another bite tasting it again. "Is there lemon in this?" I ask, taking another bite. "Yeah, it's lemon juice. I thought you might like it because you like things that taste like springtime." He says, making me smile. I didn't know he'd remembered that. I told him only once, during our victory tour when I tried some soup in the Capitol. "Yeah. I do. I love it." I pause to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, then continue eating.

I wash and dry the dishes, put them all up in the cabinet, then dry my hands. I walk back into the living room and sit back down next to Peeta. I turn my whole body towards him so I can fully look at him. "So....." I run my hand over his arm as my ankle grazes his leg. His eyes follow my gaze to his arm, and we both look up at the same time. We stare at each other for a second, neither of us breaking eye contact. Then I lean down and plant a light kiss on his bicep. I trail more kisses up to his shoulder, pushing the sleeve of his t-shirt out of the way. I slowly force myself to look back up at him and I find him looking down at me. I lean in and kiss him, this time on the lips. He wraps his arm around me, not breaking the kiss, and pulls me up onto his lap.

A/N: so this is cute. I'm down for an everlark make out session any day.