If you knew him like I did so intimately, you'd fall in love with him too.
I'm older now, struggling to keep up with the things life keeps throwing at me. Struggling to keep going on, to keep living. I must sound so dramatic right? Maybe even a little silly but when you lose everyone you thought would never leave you, your strength gets put to the test.
Lately my strength is dying, and I'm not sure how to keep fighting. I don't have time for being dramatic in my life, or feeling sorry for myself though. I have responsibilities, and a job to attend 5 days a week.
I just don't think of the past anymore, or of my old friends and past life because although things were great for a while, in life there's always a major crisis.
Mine just happened to occur too early, way too early and it wasn't fair but as my mother would say.
"You brought it on yourself."
Years later I realize, I did.
I bet you never would've thought I'd say these words Mom but for once in your entire life, you were right!
I did bring it on myself, because apparently I craved someone's unconditional love so badly that I went running into the arms of a man who gave me more attention and affection than you ever did, so yeah I brought it on myself but you know what?
I'm okay with it. That man you swore took away your innocent child from you, was the one person who made me feel important. I was 15 years old mom, I was 15.
You threw me on the streets alone, and scared. I wanted your love! I wanted you to hold me and tell me you loved me, and that you were sorry for neglecting me all those years! But you didn't want to face the real problem, the fact that you were a terrible mother, and I hope your guilty conscious eats you away for the rest of your life. The real monster who stole your daughter, was you.
And I know you knew it too..
I had trouble sleeping some nights because I couldn't be with him and nights like those were what I thought were the worst.
I was wrong because this, what has burdened me for years is by far the worst feeling I have ever experienced. It never seems to go away either, and it hurts when I think about it too much at a time.
Sometimes the memories overwhelm me, and I start to cry.
YOU ARE READING
Forgetting Mr.
Aktuelle Literatur"I'm his Salvation" I thought to myself smiling. I know now that I was nothing but his Damnation in disguise. A story and painful outcome of an illicit relationship between a student and teacher and attempts of trying to forget the past and achieve...
