Forgetting Mr.

⋆ Salvation ⋆

I was sitting on the grass in the field as the wind tousled my hair lightly. I was watching him. He was outside laughing, and speaking with another teacher. He looked so happy, I couldn't help but wonder if there was someone special in his life to make him so happy..

Someone who clearly was not me.

The entire school was outside today, for our last day before spring break. It was boiling outside though, a good 40 degrees but the breeze made it bearable. Everyone brought their water guns to school, and the school paid for some bouncy castles. It was quite great, actually.

I was trying to have fun, I really was. It's hard to have fun when you're all by yourself though in the scorching sun. I could hang out with Theo but I promised Mr that I wouldn't hang out with him anymore because all he ever wanted to do was drink or get high.

So I sat by myself observing everyone. I wasn't having a miserable time, I liked observing the world but it did feel lonely at times. I stood up and walked inside the school, it was empty. I could hear giant screams of laughter outside, everyone was out there enjoying themselves and I smiled lightly. I walked around the school hallways amazed at how quiet it was.

All I could hear was faint music outside along with the chatters and screams of the students and staff. It soothes me in an odd way, to hear the world so happy.

"What are you doing up here?" I heard him say and my mouth went dry. I turned around and he was starring at me waiting for an explanation.

"I could ask you the same thing." I said quietly and he raised his eyebrow. "I'm just going downstairs okay, enjoy your break Sir." I said quietly.

"Please don't call me Sir, that makes me feel old." He pouted and I almost smiled at how adorable he was but fought against it. "Just wait okay, I want to talk to you." He said and I felt my heart beat faster.

"Talk about what?" I said trying to steady my voice. He looked straight into my eyes and I was ready to melt into them before he responded and snapped me back to reality.

"You know what." He said quietly before leading me to his room. The walk towards his room was silent and I could feel the tension within the air, it made my stomach churn with nervousness. I felt uneasy, I knew I'd slip up. One look in those beautiful eyes, and he'd have me wrapped around his finger all over again. I stood with my back towards him awkwardly and fiddled with my hands unable to calm myself down.

"I don't know how things got so messed up between us, but I need you to know that I really do care about you and there's nothing going on with me and Lydia.." He said and I just stayed silent. I heard his footsteps and than felt him caress my arm.

My breath hitched and I felt my walls tumbling down. His touch was angelic.

He held onto me, before I turned around to look into his eyes. Searching for something to cling on to, I didn't want to lose him to anyone ever. I wanted to be his and only his, and I wanted him to be mine and only mine.

"I see the way she looks at you.. It hurts me. She watches you like you're her personal salvation-

"Do you not see what you do to me? " he interrupted starring at my lips. "You're my salvation." He whispered to me. "You're smile, and laughter. Your soul, everything about you is beautiful and I can't fathom how you could think she's nearly as beautiful as you." He said brushing a piece of hair away from my face.

"But she has everyone at her feet and I just know I can't compare with that.. I'm not like her." I said quietly.

"You're right. You're not like her." He said and I just looked down. "And that's okay. You shouldn't want to be like her. You're your own person, so don't live your live trying to live up to people's expectations or trying to be someone else. I like you for who you are, so please enough because I can't take one more day of you ignoring me." He said and I smiled lightly before composing myself. Control, I must control myself.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled and I watched his facial expression turn to confusion.

"Over what?" He said and I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"For this." I said before grabbing him and kissing him deeply. My fingers twirled around his hair, and his hands were cupping my face. When I pulled back, I was panting and he was stunned.

"Why would you ever be sorry for that?" He said and I smiled sadly.

"Because I'm risking your job.. your life, just for the pleasure of kissing you. It's selfish." I confessed and saw his eyes twinkle. He walked towards me and held my small hand in his large soft hand. He shook his head and held on to my hand before squeezing it.

"Believe me when I say I wanted it as much as you did.. You shouldn't be feeling guilty here. I should." He said honestly and I smiled sadly before hugging him and wrapping my arms around him.

"I hate this." I mumbled.

"Hate what? Hugging me?" He said and I smiled through the fabric of his shirt as I was pressed up against his warm body.

"No silly." I laughed. "I hate this situation, how we can't really be together. I mean we can technically but being with you involves so many lies and sneaking around and not to mention that you could get in so much trouble." I said and felt him breathe out.

"I know. I hate it too, but we only have 3 months of school left and didn't you say you're switching to a different school? I won't be your teacher anymore that way." He said with the slightest hope in his voice.

"Well I mean yeah, I'm switching but even then what can we do? I'm still a student so it's not like we can really go out in public or do normal couple kind of things." I said sadly. He let go of me and stared into my eyes with a sadness that overwhelmed me. I gasped when he physically lifted me and sat me on the desk before standing between my legs.

It was such a provocative position, but yet he made it so innocent and I felt at home within his presence. He just stood there and held my hand sweetly before sighing. "I'm being really selfish by wanting this to go on. If you want to date a boy.. Your age." He paused sadly. "Then I'm okay with that, I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be shown off to the entire world.. And I can't do that. I know how much this eats you up, and it hurts me to know you're hurting." He said starring at me, and I heard the hurt in his voice.

Without hesitation I shook my head. "I don't want a boy my age, or anyone else really. I want you." I said before kissing his cheek. He smiled and squeezed my hand. "We can get through it, I know we can. We've made it this far, so it can't be too bad to hide for another 3 months right? I just gotta- I gotta think positive." I smiled lightly, and he kissed my cheek.

"We should probably get back. I'm sure they're looking for me." He said before plopping me down on the floor softly like I was extremely delicate. He kissed my forehead softly and led me to the door.

"Go out first, I'll go out in 10 minutes. If anyone sees you in here and asks, just say that you were saying a year end goodbye. Go have fun, let loose. No more sitting around and watching, experience it for yourself, you deserve to have a great time." He smiled and I laughed before walking out and letting the door shut behind me. I glanced around and no one was around, the school was still empty as ever and I let myself smile and touch my lips where he kissed me.

I'm his Salvation, I thought to myself smiling.

I know now that I was nothing but his Damnation in disguise.