Forgetting Mr.

⋆ Hesitance ⋆

It was the school dance, and there were so many people. It was a winter night, and the stars sparkled through the clear glass windows. The bright lights flickered and it was all so beautiful. The crowd was wild, and the teachers were laughing.

I was standing alone on the second floor watching from the balcony. I didn't want to miss out on the only school dance because I heard it was magical, but it wasn't as magical as I thought it would be because I was all alone. I laughed and smiled at the crowd, and the people who were obviously intoxicated on the dance floor dancing crazily.

I saw him standing by the stage, observing the dance and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't think he would be here, it didn't seem like his type of event. But there he was, and he looked extremely handsome. I wanted to talk to him, so badly but I felt shy around him.

Without thinking I turned on my heels and started walking down the stairs, on the dance floor to where he was.

When I began walking through the crowd, and started to get closer and closer I felt my heart thumping so loud I could hear it in my ears overtop the blasting music. He saw me and smiled lightly, and I blushed.

I was about to walk up to him, when a few girls dragged him away to the dance floor and I felt so embarrassed. There wasn't a way to play this off cool so I just let the embarrassment sink in more and more.

I stood awkwardly on the dance floor feeling uncomfortable and then just walked back upstairs not liking the feel of sweaty bodies pressed against me.

After a couple songs, he came upstairs. He walked towards me and just looked at me making me nervous. "You look.. nice." He said hesitating the last bit as if not sure whether he should've said it or not and my wide innocent eyes just watched him in admiration. "You look nice too." I remember saying and he looked suddenly nervous as well, avoiding any eye contact. He turned away from me and faced the crowd on the balcony and I felt ashamed of myself.

I apologized for my inappropriate comment and he laughed slightly. He turned fully to face me with his blue eyes. "You shouldn't be the one apologizing." He said and my cheeks burned.

"I need to go back downstairs before I get caught up here, why don't you come with me?" He said and I nodded my head. We walked down towards the crowd and he caught me off guard when his hand brushed against mine.

I immediately looked at him and he just kept walking, as if he didn't realize so I just ignored it assuming he didn't mean to.

The rest of the night, I just talked to him and even danced a little. I didn't feel too shy anymore, and he seemed to be breaking out of his serious facade and slowly started to become this vibrant and energetic person.

It was amazing for a little while, but as the night went on things started to take a serious turn.

The memories haunt me some nights and I feel like the same helpless 15 year old girl I was years ago, broken hearted and wanting someone to love me and fill the gaping hole in my heart.