My life at home was distraught at the time, I think that's mostly why I never wanted to leave his arms. I knew once I stepped foot in my home, I'd no longer be his sweet angel but a sad stranger. I didn't like being at home for too long, it was far too big of a house for my grandma and I, it felt lonely.
Her notes she'd leave me were always the same, lacking any emotion. My mother had a good job and got to travel the world and I used to think it was such a blessing. When she'd be gone for months at a time I slowly started to miss her, and feel abandoned. I tried but I just couldn't shake the feeling that she possibly wanted to get away from me.
She told me I ruined her life once, and that I was nothing but another mistake in this world.
She was drunk, and my father had just left us. She was crying one moment, and then screaming at me the next. She hit me, and threw her wine glass at me. I had to call my grandma at 2 in the morning crying begging her to come help me. I tried to get past it, she apologized the next morning after a long conversation with grandma but I didn't know if I could believe her. I did ruin her life, my parents divorce was partially my fault and she knew very well.
But when she said I was just a mistake in this world, I felt winded. I felt like I couldn't breathe because as a young child she has never been an affectionate person towards me and it hurt me. The moment she said those words aloud, it made sense to me.
She saw me as a mistake.
She meant what she said to me that night, but she just regretted saying it aloud.
There's a difference between not meaning something you said, and apologizing cause you regret saying it.
YOU ARE READING
Forgetting Mr.
General Fiction"I'm his Salvation" I thought to myself smiling. I know now that I was nothing but his Damnation in disguise. A story and painful outcome of an illicit relationship between a student and teacher and attempts of trying to forget the past and achieve...
