ＴＨＥ ＯＴＨＥＲ ＯＮＥ

28

jisung gave minho the ice cream he bought.
"here. mint chocolate, just the one you like."

minho smiled.
"thanks junho."

jisung blinked softly.
"uhm, actually, i wanted to tell you something minho."

minho's smile didn't waver
"what is it?"

"you know I'm...I'm not junho."
jisung said.
"my name is han jisung, I am junho's twin brother."

minho's smile faded.
"what now?"

"I'm sorry i didn't tell you earlier."
jisung said, giving minho the biggest apologetic eyes.
"I wanted to, from the start. but I couldn't, because that would ruin the entire plan. i promise that I will explain everything, and give an answer to any question you might have, but let me-"

minho dropped the ice cream, his expression ice cold. shivers ran down jisung's spine.
"so I am just a pawn in your little game?"

jisung shook his head.
"no, of course not-"

"you don't deserve anything."
minho's voice was filled with venom.
"I'm a human being, I have feelings. and you manipulated me into believing that you liked me, without a care in the world? you should be ashamed of yourself. all you have been telling me was how out of place you feel in this world. hell, your parents act like you don't even exist, and treat you like an afterthought. and you know what? that's exactly what you deserve. you deserve to be alone, and feel the pain of not being enough. the pain of losing yourself. I hope that you're going to feel so much guilt over what you have done to me, that one day, it's going to explode, and it's going to drive you crazy."

very angry minho started walking closer to jisung, making him start walking backwards.

"everyone that you know is telling how amazing of a person you are compared to your brother. but really, are you? how can you use another human being, making them feel so worthless, and then say that you're a good person? aren't you the one who's supposed to be the understanding one? you have been walking earth alone, without a companion by your side. you know that I am like that as well, and you decide to take advantage of that, and making me stay close, so your brother can live the free life he deserves? well what about me, jisung? I want to find someone I can share my days with, someone I can love, and show them how amazing that feeling can be. and you crush my chance of meeting someone like that, when you know that your brother won't be the one. you want me to suffer, don't you?"

jisung was standing in the road.
and a speeding car was approaching him too quickly, he had no opportunity to move.
and then, the car-

jisung quickly sat up, his heart pounding.

he needed a few moments to catch his breath, but when he did so, he looked around, the reality finally settling in.

it was only a dream.
a really messed up dream.

jisung sighed, laying down again.
but for some reason, he couldn't fall asleep.

he moved around, trying to find the most comfortable position, shutting his eyes as tight as he could, and yet, his brain wasn't shutting off.

frustrated, with his chest still tight, jisung got up and threw a jacket on himself, before sneaking out from his house. he didn't take anything, not even his phone, so he wasn't exactly sure what time it was, but judging by the sky, it could be around one or two in the morning.

as he walked around, he couldn't stop thinking about his dream. the words Minho said. he knew that it was just in his head, and it wasn't real.
but what if Minho actually, deep down, felt that way? what if he really made Minho feel so worthless, and used?

what if he never really, deep down, forgave him?

sighing, he looked down.
the thoughts were consuming him, and he couldn't escape them.

"jisung?"

startled, jisung looked up, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
"soobin? why are you out here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing."
soobin said, walking closer.
"are you okay?"

and that was when the guilt consumed him. all of the happy memories he made with minho suddenly got darker, realizing how much he was hurting him in the process. the night Minho walked trough the door of his room, seeing jisung as himself for the first time. the hurt minho's eyes had in them when he realized he was getting used and deceived this entire time. the words that left his mouth before walking out again, leaving jisung crying, hopeless.

he remembered the day Minho showed up in front of his school. the day they sat on the hood of Minho's car. minho held him as he cried. but it wasn't right. minho was the one who was did wrong, he was the one who was supposed to feel sad and be comforted, not jisung.

and yet, he did hold jisung in his weakest moments, being his pillar.

minho was what jisung always needed. he was there for him, showing him support, and spending time with him always made him forget all of his problems. and what did he give minho in return?

hurt, and pain.
the feeling of being used.

jisung broke down. he started crying, finally letting his emotions out.

soobin immediately stepped closer.
"hey, what's wrong?"
he asked, putting his hands on jisung's shoulders.

but jisung didn't say anything. his head was hanging low, and he was shaking slightly. soobin blinked slowly, before gently pulling him in for a hug. that was clearly something jisung needed: the feeling of being grounded, knowing that he wasn't alone.

jisung wrapped his arms around soobin's waist, burying his head in soobin's chest, still unable to stop the tears and sobs.

and soobin let him.
he caressed jisung's back, giving him all the time he needed to calm down.

something was clearly wrong with him.
and if soobin could show him some support, that would be exactly what he was gonna do.

"what do you want to do?"
soobin asked.
"do you want to go home? should I walk you there?"

jisung shook his head.

"what about something sweet? you like sweet things."
soobin pulled away just a little so he would be able to face jisung.
"there is a small store nearby, they have amazing cookies. should we get them?"

jisung sniffed, before nodding, hugging soobin again.

soobin smiled slightly.
"okay, let's go get them, shall we?"