Straight 'A' Student

Chapter 39

Joshua and Eleanor sat quietly in the room while the therapist just observed them. They each refused to speak first, but their defensive stances said a good amount. It had been a couple of weeks since they started fighting. Fighting meant days screaming and arguing then days giving each other the cold shoulder. Frustration built more since Joshua had returned to work to obviously get away from the whole situation. Three days ago, Eleanor asked him to sit and talk and his response shook her entire reality and made her see the seriousness in their situation. 'I think the next time we talk about this should be with a therapist before it's with a lawyer'. He had mentioned the therapist before, but she always understood it to be a cop out, this time, with that tone, she believed him.

"So let's start with why you're here?" Sandra, their couples therapist spoke finally. "Joshua" she said when neither of them answered.

"We're here because my wife was trying to play house with another man while I was trying not to die" Joshua said sarcastically.

"Fuck off, Joshua".

"Eleanor" Sandra scolded.

"No, he's acting like I went off and started another family".

"Let's not invalidate each other. However Joshua feels about the situation is not our job to dictate".

"I never intended to hurt you Joshua, I don't know how else to tell you this".

"Your intention was to sneak off and hang out with a man I had no idea about. At what point did you think I would be okay with that".

"Okay, Eleanor tell me why you think we're here" Sandra stopped them from arguing.

"Because he and I are out of sync. I'm not saying it's his fault, at all. Just ever since I saw that message on the day you got shot, we've been out of sync. We haven't been able to talk to each other or comfort each other. He was recovering and I was helping him and that just put everything else on the back burner and now we're here. I did not intend to give him the impression that it was an affair, but I know that when I was with him I felt like a person again".

"And what did you feel like when you were with me?" Josh asked, he was clearly hurt by that.

"I don't know, I didn't mean it like that".

"Eleanor, this works if we're all honest" Sandra reminded her.

"I felt like a nurse at best and a punching bag at worst. For you, your family, myself".

"I asked you how you were feeling, if you needed breaks, I even offered to send you on a trip".

"And if I said yes, what would your family have said?"

"I don't care what my family says, Eleanor. We're out of sync because you're trying to impress my mother and get my siblings off your back. But this marriage is supposed to be about us. I'm not them, you know I've never let you be disrespected if I could help it. You made me out to be a person I'm not so you could go see another man about it".

"Joshua, do you really believe that Eleanor would cheat on you if she had the option?" Sandra asked.

"I didn't before" he answered and Eleanor looked over at him with tears in her eyes.

"This wasn't an affair".

"What was it then, because it wasn't a friendship".

"I don't know, okay. I wanted to escape our shitty reality for just a few hours a week and it kept me sane. It made me feel like I had enough in me to take care of you and take your family's shit".

"Is it the lying that makes you so upset?" Sandra asked.

"It's the lying, the secrets, the fact that you never even tried to talk to me, the fact that he made you feel something I didn't even know I was failing at" Joshua shouted.