My Life: Day by Day

April 21, 2013

Dear Diary,

Another crappy night all thanks to my mom. I was just sitting down, minding my own business, just eating a peanut butter sandwich I made. Which i seriously dont' know why I made, because I can't eat peanut butter XD Anyway, my mom comes down to make tea, and she sees me eating and starts ranting at me about how I gained a lot of weight already and sandwiches have carbs and I should be eating fruit and I need to stop eating.

Uh, for one mom is that I have been eating fruit literally the whole day. The only thing I ate that wasn't fruit was a bowl of noodles, an eggroll, and the PB sandwich. For the WHOLE DAY.

Second, mom, is that it's a freaking sandwich. With peanut butter. That has like what, max 200 calories? Screw that!

and Third, yes, i know I'm fat! but i've only been on this diet for a week! i'm not going to lose all of it in a week! I have been running every day, just because you told me to. The only liquid I drink is water, and my diet pretty much consists of just whatever the crap you put in front of me...and i'm starving my butt off. So excuse me for wanting to eat a freaking sandwich! That isn't really even a full sandiwch anyway, because I only used 1 slice of bread! X-(

I seriously wish that all the fat in my body went to my boobs or just dissapeared. Because seriously, I'm tired of my judging Azn family. If you're azn, you know EXACTLY what I mean. But if you're not azn, then let me explain. Azn families gossip a TON. like, honestly they're not adults anymore when they gather to party. They become teenage girls who just drink and laugh their butts off and gossip. They start insulting other adults that aren't there, and criticizing all the children. Everybody judges me and my friends because of every little thing- because we put on a few pounds, because we're always on our cellphones, because our faces are covered in acne, because we dress like slobs. Like literally every single thing! JUST LET ME RAGE QUIT THIS LIFE!

I hate how everybody judges me. People in my "family" have literally come up to my face and told me I was fat. Like, literally, I barely know them other than their my friend's mom or something like that, and then they'll come up and be like "You need to lose weight." And I'm like, yeah. Got that...for hte millionth time. STOP TELLING ME! I KNOW I'M FAT! YOU DON'T NEED TO RUIN MY SELF-ESTEEM ANY MORE!!!

I think I seriously will just try to stop eating. Like, if I have to I'll eat an apple. But that's it. My diet will now consist of apples, water, gum, and whatever dinner my mom makes because she obvoiusly won't let me eat nothing :P And i seriously dont' need an intervention from her about how anorexia is bad or whatever. Like she even cares.

I mean, at least she could be nice about it like my dad! I mean, i know my dad worries about my weight like my mom, but he's actually nice about it. He's on a diet thing too, so he just encourages me, and says cliche quotes like "keep your eye on the prize" and tell me that i'm beautiful no matter what and whatever. Like i said, cliche, but it's really sweet.

But nope, all my mom does is yell at me. "Stop eating carbs!" "Drink more water!" "Eat fruit!" "Eat only one!" And I hate it all the time, especially if it's something I already do. I already exercise, probably more than anybody in my family except my mom, but that's only because her job literally is to run everywhere. and I definitely drink more water than anybody in my family!

*sigh* this is making me angry :P Let's talk about something else in my day.

Overall, my day was good. I got to update my Wattpad library because we went to my grandma's! Yeah, i know you're confused- my dad took off wifi on my phone, so I can't update my library until I got to somebody's house or the library....yup....it sucks. Plus, with the new Wattpad format, some of my stories in my library won't load up without wifi! i don't know why! RAWR!