My Life: Day by Day

August 5, 2013

Dear Diary,

Holy shinola I haven't wrote in you in a loooooooooonnnnnngggggggg while. I don't feel bad at all. HATERS GONNA HATE!

I'm at my cousin's house right now....I don't remember if I gave them names already......I think I named them Blue and Hipster, there we go :) And they have a friend! names...Teddy :) Because he's always trying to cuddle with Hipster XD it's the most hilarious thing ever! cuz Hipster hates it XD

Hipster and me keep having staring contests. And it's not the normal, if you blink you lose contest. I got the idea off of a fanfic I read. You can blink, but you can't look away. It's a lot harder than you would think, especially since I'm pratically ADHD. I can't stop moving! And everything captures my attention, EVERYTHING! OO but i won cuz his mom delibrately distracted him so i could win :D i love her

IT'S SO HOT IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! I'M LIKE SWEATING MY BOOBS OFF!!!

I'm watching Shane Dawson......*sigh* he's not funny anymore. It's so sad :'(

But it's GEEK WEEK ON YOUTUBE! :D GEEKS BAN TOGETHER!!!

One of the wattpaders on here @MforMindYerBusiness recommended a new youtuber for me, called Superwoman, and SHE'S THE MOST HILARIOUS THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE! :D GO WATCH HER! I WAS NOT PAID TO PROMOTE HER! :D

yeah.....i'm bored.

MONEY!!!

superwoman is now going into a more serious topic....i'm bored

I NEED TO LAUGH!!

at least I can laugh at my cousin's house. becuase MY MOM WON'T EVEN LET ME LAUGH!! CUZ APPARENTLY MY LAUGH IS TOO WEIRD!

*five second sob moment*

i'm soooo bored.

Ok, DIARY CONFESSION MOMENT!!

I'm insecure about my stories.

The main reason I write is because, I love to write :) What else is there. I just absolutely love to write. It gives my imagination a rational place to be. And you guys know by now I need a rational place.

But the other tiny reason why I write is because I like the attention :) Yes, I admit. I'm an attention whore. I like being "famous", I guess you could say. I'm not afriad to admit it. Who doesn't like it? I feel so good when people mention my stories, read my stories, rave about my stories. It makes me feel good, like I'm a good writer with great ideas :)

But then comes the dark side of being an attention whore....YOU ALWAYS WANT MORE!

You guys have NO idea how INSANELY jelly I get when I read other stories. I get like a couple hundred reads on my most popular book, which to me is INSANE! and I honeslty feel blessed. But still, I can't help but glare at those chapters that have thousands, if not millions of reads on them! Like, there can't be that many people reading it?

Worse- is if the book is terrible. Admittedly, most books are amazing and hilarious and everything, and definitely deserve the reads. THEN there are those stories that have TERRIBLE grammar, a VERY generic story line, and can't even get the facts right! oO (that refers to fanfics......HARRY DOES NOT LIKE POTATOES HOLY CROW!) but for SOME reason, everybody is acting like it's the next bible! oO

They're all like "ur the best author eva! like, OMG i lurv ur stories!" or like "ur story is so amazayn! ur goin 2 win the watty awards!" but the chapter is like....not going to lie, utter shinola. it's not even funny. they spell everything wrong, EVEN WHEN THERE'S SPELLCHECK ON HERE!, their grammar is atrocious (don't get me started on the difference between you're and your) and the plot....i'm not even going to start

I mean, i understand it when it's an informal writing thing, like this book is, or when you have the occasional misspelling or whatever. because you know, nobody is perfect. but when you are misspelling every other single word it's just.....i can't even anymore.

IT'S NOT FAIR!

and then THOSE stories get like THOUSANDS of reads! it's not fair! :'(

But now, it's not just the terrible stories. It's the amazing ones too. And then I get jealous, and I start doubting myself, like "is it the way I'm writing?" "are my stories not original enough?" "are my stories just bad? or is it because I've jsut started?"

AND NOBODY CAN HELP ME! Oo

It's like...when you become famous.

How come people like One Direction or Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran get famous? Why them? Why not some other talented singer? I know so many good singers on youtube, that are pretty famous like Jason Chen or Megan and Liz or Tyler Ward. yes, they're good, of course they're good. they're amazing! So why aren't they on the radio?

And then there are the nobodies. I don't mean the people just starting out, because that's impossible. I mean the people who have been singing for years and years and yet NOBODY NOTICES THEM! they're amazingly good, but does nobody listen to them? NO! but they listen to people like Nicki Minaj?

what does it take to be a good singer? do you have to be attractive? do you have to be able to play an instrument? i ask all these questions, but honestly there's nothing. One Direction are attractive as hell, but only Niall can play a real instrument

which, by the way, that rumor better NOT be true that in the next tour, Niall isn't going to be allowed to sing. he's only going to play the guitar. HELL NO!

back to my rant. Hell, Kelly Clarkson is my singing idol, but I dont' think she can play any instrument at all!

but why are they famous?

the only thing i can think of is pure luck. that's it.

BUT WHY ARE THEY LUCKY?! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LIKE ME GET A CHANCE? WE WORK OUR BUTTS OFF FOR NOTHING!

everytime people ask me, "Levanthia, what do you want to be when you grow up?" my automatic answer is "Doctor" or, if they ask "What kind?" I say "Ob-Gyno".......yeah, don't ask. that's another story ;)

but in all reality, I would love to be a singer. I've been singing since forever. I can't even remember a time when I'm not singing. No wait, I can. I can't sing when I write, because then I start writing the lyrics.......it gets awkward when i chat with people

but anywhovian, I would love to be a singer. But nobody supports me. my parents would kill me if they ever found out. everybody i know says my singing is bad, even though random strangers come up tome and compliment my singing....SAY WHAT?! i'm so confused....i'm going to make a youtube singing channel to see the truth, but i seriously wish i could be a singer....

but MOVING BACKWARDS! i work my butt off on Stand Up, put my heart and soul into it, and it has more than 60 chapters right now, and i honeslty update a LOT more than most people. and I have about 45k reads right now, and I'm so proud.

BUT WHY DO OTEHR FANFICS HAVE MILLIONS?! Oo What makes their fanfics better than mine? My grammar isn't terrible, my story is original, and I DONT' KNOW WHATS WRONG?! is my story too long? is it TOO original? is it too dramatic? not dramatic enough? I DON'T KNOW!

...........this rant isn't helping the heat wave.

I'M DYING!

ok, rant over. i need to calm down.

BRRRRREEEEAAATTHE! *inhale* *exhale* I'M BREATHING IN THE CHEMICALS!

I wish people would read my stuff more....

Not that I don't appreciate every single one of you taht does, because you guys are everything to me right now :) Especially the people who read this book, because this is important to me :)

ok, i'm going to go because where I am it's midnight right now :-/ I'm keeping everybody up wiht my loud typing XD

don't eat the coconut flakes. AH, YOU WERE EXPECTING PILLOW FLUFF WEREN'T YOU?! Oo BOOYAH! I'M DIFFERENT! :D

ok, bye...i'm done...my feet hurt

-L <3