My Life: Day by Day

May 5, 2013

Dear Diary,

Today was shit XD All I did was play on my laptop, writing stories and listening to music, going on twitter, the works. Except for the fact I was having a freaking panic attack the whole time. I hate having panic attacks. They make my heart race and my hands shake and I feel like I'm scared and depressed. I have no idea what triggers it. I can predict it sometimes, like when I'm about to perform in front of people. Panic attack time! But other times, it just happens randomly, like now.

I'm all better now, I'm not shaking anymore so that's good. But I have to be careful, cuz I still feel tight in my chest. So yeah. But I'm a lot happier now :)

I've been going on twitter a lot more now. Just randomly, because one of my friends on here, her name is Becky, she got a twitter and she asked me to follow. I don't really get the point of twitter, but i like to write tweets XD She got Zayn Malik to follow her! Can you believe it? She didn't do anything! She just has him following her! So jealous :P

I wonder what gets celebrities to follow you? Do they just follow people for the heck of it? Or maybe they like a tweet the person made? Maybe they seem to like the person? How do they react to tweets about them? Questions of life that will never be answered.

Wouldn't it be cool to know a celebrity? Like, personally? Just to see how they think? Their opinions on the world? I mean, I know they have tweets and facebook and interviews and stuff. But they probably don't tell the full truth. Not with little stuff like favorite color or whatever. But other stuff, big stuff. When people ask them about their relationships, they probably don't tell the truth, or at least the full truth. Their opinion on their friends, on their family, those are geniune enough probably. But not the full truth. And the biggest stuff, like fights they're having. They definitly don't have the full truth about that.

I feel bad for them, because they can't ever make mistakes. With normal people like me, we can screw up a bunch of times, but even with major cases like illegal drinking or whatever, we're on the news for like, what an hour. And then the only people that criticize us are the people we know. I mean, of course it hurts. But think about celebrities. Any small mistake they make, everybody judges them. Strangers that have never even met them are judging them. Whether good, or bad, they're judging. That's really sad :'(

I've never met a celebrity before, but if I do, I want to thank them. For putting up with us, for making us happy with whatever they do. I also want to aplogize, for every bad thing that their fans have done, for letting us bombard you like this, because there is no way i would be able to meet a celebrity just on the streets XD

Maybe I should just tweet them......maybe. But I feel like that would be stalkerish XD

God, i'm getting distracted. My family is watching the Walking Dead. I don't really like the show, but i'm getting pulled in! Everybody is probably happy about that XD I don't see the appeal of zombie things though. But I love Carl! <3 He's so cute! And Glenn is so innocent and cute too! XD *sigh* I'm getting really weird.

I finished writing my fan-fiction today :) 93 chapters! Or 92.....somewhere around that. 90 something chapters. I'll probably change it around depending on what I'm thinking at the time. But the general thing will stay the same :) I can't wait to post all of those chapters. I hope my followers like it, because I really appreciate their support :) It feels nice to have someone compliment your work, and to have people rave over you. I feel like a mini celebrity XD But of course, even if I get hate, which surprisingly I don't, I probably wouldn't bother about it too much. because I wrote the story for me. To try and let out my feelings on being hated by myself, to be just totally weird and quirky and have everybody hate you. And to try and think about what it would feel like to have somebody accept all those qualities, like the boys do in the story for Tiffany. I think it would be nice, to be accepted like that :)

I feel like I'm writing a lot of books now XD And I feel like i have more to come! Oh well. Nobody really reads the others, but I don't blame them. Everybody reads One Direction XD I'm going to end this. I dont' really feel like writing in this anymore today. I can't believe i'm even writing in this. stupid Angel for making me do this :P Oh well

see ya later Diary.