You're light to me

MET

-Are you going to the MET gala on Saturday?- I asked her.

-Of course, you too right?- she said smiling- I was thinking that we could get ready together it would be so much fun.

-Will you come alone or will you bring your boyfriend Josh?- I dropped almost without thinking.

-Oh my god- she said with her hands on her face.

-You've told me all about your life and you have not mentioned him even once, I don't understand- I confesses sighing and sitting beside her.

-It's complicated- she said without meeting my eyes.

-I don't understand Karlie, I thought that we were friends, best friends- I said trying to sound calmly- we talk about everything and now I found out because of Lily that you have a boyfriend for almost two years, you have to understand that bothers me, you said I'm your best friend but I wasn't important enough to know that.

-You are very important to me Taylor- Karlie defended herself.

-I don't believe that right now- I said clearly hurt.

-My relationship with Josh is complicated Taylor- the model said again.

-So complicated that I couldn't understand?- I asked increasingly confused.

-It's not you Taylor- she denied.

-What is going on Karlie?- I asked seriously.

-Taylor- she said again my name like as it that would save her.

-Don't you trust me?- I asked more hurt.

-Of course I do- she said again turning to look at me.

-What is happening then?- I challenged her- why don't you tell me you're in love and you are happy? or if you're having a hard time with him why don't you share that with me as I do with you?

-I'm not in love- Karlie refused and that surprise me but her next sentence confused me even more- I'm not in love with him at least. 

-Karlie I don't understand anything, why are you with someone you don't love?- I asked looking straight into her green eyes.

-Josh is gay Taylor- Karlie finally confessed sighing.

-What?- I asked as if what I had heard was a lie.

-Josh is gay- she said for the second time ducking her head.

-Oh my god, I don't understand anything, I need something stronger than tea- I said removing from the fridge a bottle of red wine and filled a whole glass.

-I'll need another if you don't mind- Karlie asked ashamed.

-Here you have- I said when I filled another glass- Come into the living room- I said taking the bottle with me, Karlie followed me in silence, I waited to be on the couch before I said again- I don't understand anything Karlie.

-Let me tell you that you are the first person who know about this, about Josh and me been fake- she told me being honest.

-I don't understand even more now- I admitted- why do you pretend to be with him for almost two years if he is gay?

-It's a complicated story if I told you, you have to promise me not to tell it and especially not judge me- she asked sadly.

-Karlie- I said grabbing her hand- trust me, I'm not going to tell this to anyone, but I especially I assure you I will not judge your for anything.

-I've been in the fashion industry since I was 13 years old, it is a complicated world where everything you do, from what to wear to who you sleep with matters- she began to explain without looking at me- I met a girl named Toni who became my best friend, we worked together for the same designers and we do a lot of catwalks together- I listened attentively trying to figure out where she was going with that history- One day, Toni and I slept together- I was thanked that Karlie didn't saw my surprised face in that moment- I soon fell in love with her, it was a delight and she shared my way of life- her hands were shanking for her nerves so I sighed and grabbed one of them to calm her a little- we were together nearly for three years, it was increasingly difficult because no one could know it and began to be rumors everywhere, Toni was at her nerves everyday, she didn't know how to lie about us for any longer but especially she didn't wanted to deny me that she wanted to be with me- for the first time Karlie raised her head and I saw two tears in her green eyes- one day Toni told me that she had sleep with other girl and I ended our relationship, I don't know why she did that, I don't know if she didn't love me or just because she wanted to break up and don't lie anymore- I stroke her cheek to clear her tears, I couldn't bear see her that way- at that time I live in Europe for most of the year and I decided to come to New York, here I met Josh, we were very good friends, the truth is that he is a great guy but his family is Jewish and doesn't tolerate he being gay- she explained before making a pause- the shadow of the rumors about my relationship with Toni still chasing me at that time and he needed to be someone else to his family, so it may seem crazy but it looked the best for us in that moment, we were friends and we both hide our true feelings for other people- Karlie looked at me again, I notice that she was devastated- you are the first person that know this part of my life.