You're light to me

16. Put yourself in her skin

When Karlie left my apartment that evening I was completely shocked. I did not want to think about what just happened, least of all I didn't want to think about the future.

I went up to the room and put on my pajamas. I just wanted that day to be over a damn time. But it would not be so easy. I do not know how many laps gave to bed that night, trying to sleep, trying to understand the reasons why Karlie was not with me in that moment. I think the exhaustion was what overcame me and I ended up falling asleep in the first hours of the morning.

The two following days I set myself I could not go on like that forever. I decided to focus on my music. The music always helped me to process my emotions and at that time I needed it. Karlie theme was passing me on. I felt too much for her and was too afraid to lose her. Karlie was the one who had returned normality to mi life. She was the one who had made me see the world differently. She had been there for months at my side, for better or for worse. Karlie illuminated my life in an unexpected way. She completed and understood me better than myself sometimes. But now it was all complicated.

Now Karlie and I had been three days without speaking. Three days without a message. Three days thinking about what she was doing. Three days writing songs because I did not think of anything else. It had never been so long without talking since we met. I loved Olivia, she was growing by the day but the truth was that every time I looked it was inevitable that Karlie come to my mind. Remembrance Rhode Island was with me permanently.

I would love to know if Karlie was like me or if she was doing a normal life. I appreciated having the refrigerator always full because I had not gone out in days of my apartment. I looked at her social media but there was no activity in them, as in mine. I missed her, I had no doubt about that but our whole fight was absurd. What Karlie and Tree wanted was too complicated. And the worst was that Karlie agreed with her.

I was completely lost with the piano when my phone started ringing nonstop. I had been ignoring my phone for couple of days, I was ignoring most messages and calls but my instincts told me that it might be Karlie and I should take it. I ran to find it but was disappointed to find the name of another model on the screen of my phone.

-¿Cara?- I asked when I picked up despite having seen her name on the screen.

-Hi Taylor- she greeted on the other side of the phone.

-Hi- I replied.

-Are you with Karlie?- she asked being direct.

-No- I refused.

-Shit- she said.

-What happens?- I asked even more confused.

-I've been calling her the last two days but she's not answering or returning any of my calls and you are always together so I though you would knew something o be with you- Cara explained.

-No... we haven't see each other these days, I've.. I've been working- I lied, not wanting to tell the truth out loud .

-But... you talked to her right?- Cara asked worried.

-No- I denied again- we haven't been spoken last few days.

-Oh... Are you on bad terms?- she asked finally realizing what was happening.

-We argue the other day and we haven't spoken yet- I explained.

-I guess it's nothing then- Cara said dismissively.

-Cara... do you think something's wrong?- I asked, now I was the one worried- I could go to her house.

-No, don't worry Taylor, she's probable affected by your fights or something and she just want some space- Cara said quickly.