You're light to me

24. 1989

I left the room like a storm to lock myself in my studio upstairs. I didn't saw Karlie's face when I left and I did not want to. I had beared much for the young model and I could do for her everything that she asked but I would not allow her to banned my work in that way. In my opinion I had already made quite a lot changing the letters as pronouns or some details to throw, I would not stop sharing with my fans for her fears. We had been a few months under the strategy Tree had planed and everything seemed to be working but I never saw the end of the road. Now my album was about to be public and Tree said that it wasn't the right time to do be known for my relationship with the model.

I sighed and sat on the piano. I was tired of fighting with Karlie for the same subject. While we did not talk about that everything was perfect but when the matter came to light we ended like that. This time it would not be me who was going to fix things, I also had pride and this time I was right. I was too angry to compose, speak with Karlie or think. I just sat there and tried to relax. I put music on my headphones and breathed deeply. Song after song I managed to calm down enough to focus to play the piano.

I did not know if Karlie was gone, if she had stayed, if she was angry or if she was thinking of us. I did not know if my parents had returned. I didn't hear anything with my headphones on, music was all I could heart at the time. Maybe I was sitting there for hours, I did not care. While playing the piano keys I felt two eyes upon me. The door was locked so they could not be cats. I turned to the door and found Karlie looking at me and resting on the frame. I took off my headphones and stared.

-Can I come in?- Karlie asked sighing in a much more relaxed tone than earlier.

-It depends- I answered looking back at my piano I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk with her.

-It depends on what?- she asked without entering the room.

-Are we going to fight again?- I asked daring.

-I've came to apologize so I hope not- Karlie said in a whisper.

-Go ahead- I said after a long silence.

-I'm really sorry- she apologized surrounding the piano to be in front of me.

-Why of all thing happening lately?- I asked without thinking I was hurt by too much at that moment.

-For everything you're going trough because of me, I never wanted to put you under all this pressure and I never wanted to affect us like that- I noticed for her voice that she was ashamed and for that I looked at her for the first time.

-How were you expecting that would not affect us if we would change the way of being together Karlie?- I asked, did she really never thought of that?

-I'm sorry, I really am for all of this- Karlie apologized again- but I'm really sorry especially about what I said earlier.

Karlie stared at me waiting for me to say something but I didn't do it. She still had to say a lot of things if she wanted that my anger went away.

-I know that your work is really important for you, like my work, my career is for me, I shouldn't say these things- Karlie decided to keep talking because of my silence- I can't forbid you to write songs, it's the best you do.

-The songs are gonna be in the album Karlie- I warned her, I had that so much clear.

-I know- she said surprising me- and I accept it, you're right, I asked for too much and I can't ask for more, I should be glad that you write about me.

-You're not the first person who is annoyed because I write songs about them- I reminded whispering, it was a ghost which haunted me a lot.

-I'm sorry about what I said earlier, your work is not stupid, I was angry and scared- she apologized for the third time.