Maybe We Should Go Back

Guess who got sick on day 4

It was ME! Me guys! Me!

It was a hard first week, but I feel like I handled it well. My kids seem sweet despite being drastically more squirrely than last year, but about half (I suspect more than half undiagnosed) have ADHD, so it makes sense. They don't seem bad though. Not mean. Not defiant. Just... SQUIRREL! Every five seconds.

I have 7 IEP's (IEP is an individualized education plan - basically special education) in one room, a kid who is terrified to walk downstairs (had to get a buddy to stay behind my line and help him down step by step. I swear to god it gets weirder every year, and nothing surprises me. Last year I had a thumb sucking fourth grader, now I have one who can't walk up and down the stairs. Like, do his parents carry him? I'd love to be a fly on the wall and see how they handle it), a girl who told me she won't do anything she doesn't want to (and has stayed true to her word. I asked how she plans to pass. She said she doesn't know and I said neither do I) and a kid who already threatened another kid for breaking a rule in a game saying he will shoot him and has a gun in his bag. The kid told me yesterday morning because he had been too scared the day before, which was when it happened. I immediately called the dean and she swept up there and charged through like a motherfucking tank, grabbed that kid and his bag. He was gone in about one second. lol. I mean, the kid seems sweet and I was certain it was nothing, and it did turn out to be an empty threat, but hell if my ass is gonna be on the line just because I assume you're lying, and double hell if I'm gonna check that bag by myself! Nope. That's outta my hands.

Apparently, despite it being an empty threat, the statement will stay on his record through college. Imagine being 9 and saying some stupid shit to your friend and have it follow you till you're 22. But we had JUST gone over the safety PowerPoint! I had JUST warned all of them that a joke of such nature would ruin their lives. I don't know if he forgot or was just trying us. God knows. I do know his mom is a teacher though, very sweet, and probably went nuts on him last night. I feel bad for him but I also know I'm obligated to report that shit every time, and I'll do that because the repercussions of whether it's real or not will both be devastating to my career if I say nothing. Sorry about your academic future. Think before you speak, I guess.

No wonder that by Thursday, my tongue hurt. This is a tell tale sign of an ear infection for me, and sure enough as the hours passed the pain moved from my tongue into my inner left ear. I tried to treat it at home. When it was worse the next day, I bought an online "appointment" for 40 bucks (where you fill out some questions to get a script for antibiotics) and picked it up last night. I will never take chances with being sick again. I will never wait it out again. Never.

They told me my immune system would be compromised forever after my brush with death in April, but my god, the first week?! I thought I had at least two weeks before the first sickness. It was a depressing realization.

I'm eating healthier, taking vitamins, trying to be stress free through meditation and stay on my medication schedule, but it's like none of that is helping me be healthy after all. It was depressing.

One good thing. I LOVE who I work with. She's so much like me: sarcastic, laid back, cusses a lot and doesn't take anything too seriously. I also love her because apparently she told you-know-who to shut up and get out when she went in there to talk shit about me the other day. I found out everyone else hates her as much as I do, and that was cathartic as fuck to find out. I really did think for awhile I was the problem there. It's a relief to hear my theory about her being a bitch has been verified by outsiders now. No one likes her whiny ass.

She got 5 IEP's this year and freaked out after parent night complaining about how awful IEP kids are. That is such a disgusting attitude, especially when the girl I work with has a daughter with an IEP, sitting there as she's saying this. I feel like only the newest, most ignorant, and most privileged teachers think like that. I've met millions of IEP kids who became my absolute favorites, ones that worked their asses off to overcome their disability whatever it was, ones I still hug to this day when I see them. The absolute audacity of this girl never ceases to astound me. Finding out everyone else hates her too has been a relief though. I finally can rest in the knowledge that I am not the problem here. I never was. Sometimes I don't know. People don't know how to take me sometimes.